Friend Makin' Monday

One of the blogs that I read on a regular basis has participated in Friend Making Monday for a while. I have never participated, but decided to do so... at least once, but hopefully on a more regular basis.

 
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

1. Share one thing that you plan to do for yourself in 2013. I plan to use the year 2013 to focus on me. While it's in my nature to be giving, I have got to concentrate on myself. I'm 28 and my health is going down the bucket and I want to remedy the situation before it's too late.
2. Share a good habit that you will continue doing into the new year. My good habits all went down the toilet this year. One thing that I was really good at was not drinking soda. I had several months where I would go without soda. It would be nice to go without soda all the time.
3. Do you make new year’s make resolutions? If so, do you typically stick to them? I do, but I rarely stick to them. I usually make a list of 10 resolutions. It's a tradition that I've done since I was young. Last year I only kept one of my resolutions. I hope to have better luck in the coming year.
4. Do you have any health goals for the new year? I have a lot of health goals for 2013. I want to work on me which includes my health. I have about 70-75 pounds to lose. I'd like to lose about 50 this year. I also want to concentrate on getting healthy, not just losing weight. I want to exercise more. I want to eat better. I want to feel better.
5. Share one thing that you plan to do in January. A small group of friends and I were considering starting a once monthly game club. We get together, play board games, eat, drink, and be merry. I would like to schedule the first game night sometime towards the end of January.
6. Do you have any travel plans for the coming year? If so, where are you most excited to go? I don't really have any plans to travel in 2013. I'm going to work on saving some money. I would love to travel to Los Angeles sometime in 2014. I suppose, I would love to travel to Wisconsin and visit my "nerd friends" (as my mom calls them) along with my family that lives there.
7. What are your plans for New Year’s Eve? The same that they are every year. I normally stay home with my boyfriend and watch movies until the new year arrives. We usually order in pizza, get some alcohol, and just relax. I'm looking forward to that. Oh, I also usually read a book at some point during the night. I started a new book yesterday and I will probably finish it tonight... though if I wait til after midnight, it will count on my reading list for next year... hmmm... :)
8. What are your resolutions for 2013? I will post an entry tomorrow with all of my resolutions. Like I said, I like to have 10 of them and I'm not quite done with them yet... Once they're perfected (haha) I will post them.
9. What are you looking forward to most over the next 12 months? Finding myself again. I've lost myself over the last few years and I'm looking forward to figuring out who I am again.
10. Share something unique that you hope to do in 2013. Unique??? No idea. LOL  

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments, and say hi to someone new!

Have a happy and safe New Year's! :)

Getting Healthy

As many of you know, I blog on another website. On that website, for at least five years, I've ran a weight loss group. It started as me taking over for a girl who ran a group, but couldn't anymore. Then I stopped running hers and ran my own. It's changed a lot over the years, but it's still mine. Granted, nothing has come from it for me. I just looked back and the first phase that I ran on my own, I weighed around 200 pounds. Last time I weighed in (Friday), I was 224.4. So, my weight has gone up... My Elf4Health gave me an idea that I hadn't really thought of before. I'm surprised I hadn't thought of it either... The next phase of my weight loss group, which will begin towards the end of March, will be ran in both groups. I need to work out ideas for how it's going to be run and prizes for competitors, but I strongly believe that running the group with even more participants will greatly help me out with my weight loss... which is honestly the reason why I love running the group. :) Look for a new tab on this blog very soon with my ideas for adding my blogspot blog to my other one. :) I'm so excited. The current phase of my group just started today and I don't really have time to incorporate this one into that one so, yeah... it'll start with the next phase. :)

The Loot + Sadness

I made out like a bandit again this Christmas. Here's a list of what all I received...

From Matt's sister-in-law: a cute pair of short brown boots

From Matt's parents: a 7 quart slow cooker, a pair of red pajamas with white hearts on the pants, a makeup bag with some travel size goodies in it

From my sister: a pack of apple cider k-cups

From my brother: a pink Aeropostale hoodie

From my parents: a cute cupcake cookie jar, a ton of k-cups, a k-cup carousel, a pretty shirt, new sheets for my bed, and my favorite gift??? a quilt for my bed:



I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday as well!!!

On a sadder note, my great uncle that I wrote about on the 14th passed away this evening. He went into the hospital for back surgery and had complications in the form of blood clots. They got those removed via surgery, but he was pretty much brain dead after that and for the past 11 days, his body has slowly been shutting down. R.I.P. Uncle Donnie!!! As sad as it is that you are gone, I'm sure Grandma was thrilled with her Christmas present of seeing you again.

Tracking + Furious + Cleaning Question

I had a friend suggest that I try looking into a natural planning method to avoid pregnancy. I think we'll do this. I haven't really looked that far into it, but from what I understand, it's basically what you'd do if you were trying to get pregnant... take your basal body temperature, chart your periods and symptoms, etc... and then avoid sex when you're most fertile. I like this method. I'm also allergic to condoms (I swell and break out into a rash)... The only other form of contraception I've used is spermicide and honestly, that takes away from the fun because it's got to melt before you can go at it. LOL I downloaded two apps to my phone "Fertility Friend" and "Period Tracker". So far, I think Period Tracker looks more easy to use than Fertility Friend. I can't quite figure out how to log my last period on FF. *shrugs* We'll see how this goes.

I am FURIOUS at my sister's boyfriend... incredibly angry. It's a week before Christmas. He told her he is no longer coming to see her for Christmas... at all. He's not coming to my parents' Christmas and he's not coming to get her so she can go to his parents' Christmas. The problem is this... my sister has learning disabilities and because of them she doesn't work. She probably could work, but she couldn't do more than a minimum wage job. She also does not have a car and she would need to pay a babysitter to watch my niece. So she doesn't work. She gets WIC and a Link card (food stamps) and a medical card. She does not get any disability or anything like that. My niece's bio-dad is a piece of crap and he doesn't work so that he doesn't have to pay child support. My sister gets no extra cash... My mom and dad pay for a lot of their non-food items. Anyway... my sister's boyfriend promised her that he'd come for Christmas... and he promised her he would buy presents for everyone. He never did. It's a week before Christmas, he's not coming and he didn't buy any presents at all. My niece has NOTHING for Christmas now because my sister thought her boyfriend would stick by his word and buy presents... My sister is sad. I don't think she's fed up with him yet, but she's sad that he did this to her. My mom invited my sister and niece to spend Christmas night with them. My parents' bought my niece a tricycle for Christmas. If they stay at my parents' house, my mom is going to let this be my niece's Santa gift. My mom is also going to give my sister $100 so she can buy us all a $10 gift each. I'm going to take my sister shopping Saturday morning.

Our bathroom was remodeled probably 5 years ago. The tub was bought new then. It's a nice tub/shower combo, but the bottom of the shower is textured. I like it because it's non-slip and I don't have to worry about falling in the shower (I'm a klutz and have done it before)... The problem being this... my bathroom ceiling is low and this makes our shower liner lay in the bottom of the tub a few inches. Those few inches are disgusting because dirty water gets trapped under the liner. No matter what I do, I can't get rid of the dirt and grime that is there... I've tried diluted bleach, bathroom cleaners with bleach, dish cleaning liquid... I've tried just about everything. If people looked at my tub, they'd think we were dirty people, but I swear we're not. I clean my tub often... Any ideas???

Jealousy + Appointments + Mourning

When I was younger I was always super jealous of my siblings. They're both petite with blond hair and blue eyes. They're both thin... they take after my father's side of the family... I was always more like my mom's side of the family... I'm big boned and have brown hair and brown eyes. I've always struggled with my weight... They're also both fearless. They would hop onto anything with wheels and take off without fear of being injured. I was always such a worrywart that I would fuss and cry because I might hurt myself... The older we get, the less jealous I am... While they may be fearless and able to ice skate the first time they try, I can fairly easily learn how to do anything. I may still struggle with my weight, but the older they get, the thinner they get. Haha... I don't know what possessed me to write about this, but I've felt like writing about it for a couple of days now...

I had my doctor's appointment today. I spoke with my doctor about going off my birth control. She completely supports that decision but suggested using other forms of birth control for at least three to four months. The main reason being, we don't know how my body is going to react when I go off my birth control. We need three or four months of non-pregnant me in order to figure out if I still need to take my blood pressure medication or not. She also strongly advised against getting pregnant while on Prozac and she said the least amount of time she recommends staying on it is six months. I just started my fourth month. So, I will be done with Prozac in March or so... So, after this thing of pills (which I'll finish next Saturday), I won't be buying any more.

I still can't believe how much I'm mourning over twenty-six people I don't even know. Those children... those poor innocent children... Ever since I saw the photos of them being posted, I can't forget their little faces. And the teacher who saved her entire class by putting them in the closet and then telling the shooter they were in gym class and then getting shot to death herself... so brave... and the school principal that lunged at the gunman to protect a couple of teachers and was killed in the process... so admirable. Just typing this small paragraph out brought tears to my eyes. Ugh. So sad.

Sickened

I cannot believe that anyone would walk into an elementary school and open fire. My heart breaks for the children and families affected by the shooting in Connecticut. An entire kindergarten class viciously killed... I cannot imagine what their families are going through... especially this close to the holidays. And all of the children who survived this event, I'm sure their lives will never be the same... ever. I would be traumatized as an adult being in a setting such as that... I cannot imagine being in grade school and being witness to such atrocities... I am beyond appalled. I'm beyond sickened. There really are no words. I've been at work all day and haven't broken into tears. I've greatly wanted to, but I've held it in... It seems like there's this blanket of sadness all around us. I ran errands on my lunch and everywhere I went, it seemed like people weren't as happy as normal... I believe that it's sad enough when the lives of adults or teens are taken so early, but twenty kindergarteners is beyond tragic. On my lunch break today, I watched the news in horror as they started relaying more and more information about the circumstances of the shooting. When the president took the stage, it seemed like he had an extremely difficult time keeping his composure. He said that he reacted as a parent first, not the president... These senseless deaths are... beyond words. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those touched by this tragedy.

To make matters even worse for the day, about an hour ago my aunt messaged me on Facebook asking where my mom was. I told her my mom was working. My aunt said that she had been trying to call my mom with no answer. Then she said that my great-uncle is in the hospital with a blood clot and they don't expect him to live more than a couple of hours. They were taking him into surgery about an hour and a half ago, but they don't expect him to make it through the surgery. Sad...

Domesticated + Other Ramblings

I am going to feel all domesticated this weekend! This is my to do list that I started yesterday:

1. Go through refrigerator. Read labels on all condiments and throw away old ones. Clear out anything spoiled.
2. Clean refrigerator fully. Thoroughly clean off all shelves with hot soapy water. Includes freezer.
3. Go through mess on end of kitchen counter.
4. Go through basket on baker's rack (where I keep my "important" letters).
5. Give Rusty a bath.
6. Wash Rusty's bed.
7. Wash our bed sheets.
8. Clean out bedroom closet.
9. Scour bathroom. Includes: cleaning toilet, cleaning sink, bleaching toothbrush holder, cleaning off storage shelves, scouring bathtub.

That's quite a list. I want to have all of that done by the end of the weekend. I was going to give Rusty a bath tonight, but I'm really tired. I don't feel like giving him a bath and washing all of the bed sheets and his bed. I'm currently baking some cookies.

Anyway, I had another talk with Matt today about making babies... I didn't pressure him at all, but I did tell him that I want to go off of my birth control. Here is a list of possible side effects of my birth control that I do have:

• Enlarged Breasts/Breast Tenderness: I have been taking vitamin E for years now for breast tenderness. And my breasts have gotten ginormous since I started birth control, but that could also be because I've gained roughly 75-90 pounds since then. *shrugs*
• Irregular Periods/Absence of Menstrual Periods: Sometimes my period is heavy and sometimes it's non-existent. I worried about not having periods until I saw it was a "normal" side effect and you shouldn't be concerned unless you don't have a period for three months in a row.
• Weight Gain/Change in Appetite: My weight has gone up a lot since I started birth control. I've also had a lot harder time controlling my compulsive overeating. Hence the Prozac...
• Sinus Irritation and Congestion: Maybe my allergies really aren't allergies, but are because of the birth control. I mean, I started this birth control in April of probably 2010... so two and a half years ago and that's when my "allergies" kicked into high gear
• Low Energy/Chronic Trouble Sleeping: I am always tired and could always fall asleep at the drop of a hat... I also don't sleep very well sometimes. 
• Yeast Infection of Vagina and Vulva: I get yeast infections a lot and very easily. It's annoying. I hate them!
• Migraine Headaches: I have been getting migraines a lot lately. I didn't realize this was also a side effect of birth control. Hmmm...
• Diarrhea/Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements: I either have one or the other. I'm either constipated as all get out or have diarrhea that doesn't stop... My close friends know this about me... It's annoying, but again, I didn't realize that it was a side effect of my birth control.
• Easily Angered or Annoyed/Mood Changes: I tend to get irritable really easy. You can just ask my friend Brenda. LOL I can be in a perfectly good mood and as soon as something small happens, I snap and get angry. 
• Altered Interest in Having Sexual Intercourse: We all know that I have virtually no sex drive.
• High Blood Pressure: I always knew this was a side effect and my doctor keeps trying to take me off of the birth control because of my high blood pressure.

I went through the complete list of possible side effects and didn't know that some of them were even side effects. . *shrugs*  Anyway, Matt agreed that I could stop taking my birth control. Like I said previously, we don't have sex often right now so I'm not worried about getting pregnant yet. We didn't talk about his decision about having a baby or not. I don't know if we're going to just not prevent pregnancy or use other forms of birth control or actively try yet, but after I'm done with this pack of pills, I'm not getting any more. :) Yay that! It's a step in the right direction...

Onto the dieting front... I haven't been watching what I'm eating in the slightest. I've been eating whatever I want and that's not good for me. I need to lose weight, not stay the same. My weight is no longer going up really (I bounce within the same 5 pounds). At least I'm not binge eating consistently and that helps. It would also help if I had more money to buy some healthy groceries.

I'm so poor right now it's ridiculous!!! I am COMPLETELY broke right now. Both of my credit cards are maxed out ($620 total). I have absolutely nothing in savings and have around $10 in my checking. I get paid tomorrow, but after I pay my bills, I'll have about $20 left over to last me until the following Friday. That's when we're supposed to get our Christmas bonus. They're taxed like crazy. If I use a formula against how much I got last year, I'll get $350ish back this year. Now, I KNOW I will get this bonus because it's basically paying me back for not taking my sick time. I just don't know for sure that I'll get it that Friday, but it should be that day. He's always given them to us the last work day before Christmas. He also gives us a Christmas card with a $50 bill in it. So, I should get an extra $400 next Friday. Then my last paycheck of the year (the 28th), I only have a few bills to pay. I looked over my budget, and the good news is that by the time I get my tax return back (assuming I get back everything I paid in like I do every year... roughly $1000), I will be out of debt (except my two loans) and even have a couple of hundred extra to put in my savings. Yay that!

Okay, my timer is buzzing that my cookies are done. G'night!

Fear

What I feared happened... My other blogging site has currently been down for AT LEAST 42 hours currently. There has been no word from the blogging site creator, but according to one of his admins, it is a hosting issue and not a server issue. Apparently it's not really a big deal, but they expected the site to be back up yesterday and it's still down. *sad face*

I had "the talk" with Matt about having a baby. He was in a silly mood so I almost didn't talk to him about it, but here is the gist of our conversation (I'm bolded):

Me: I have something serious I want to talk to you about. 
Him: No!
Me: It’s not regarding marriage…
Him: You want to buy something?
Me: No.
Him: You want ME to buy something for you?
Me: No. 
Him: You need something from me?
Me: Well, kind of. 
Him: What? (said really silly-like)
Me: If you’re not going to be serious about it, I’m not going to talk to you. 
Him: What do you need?
Me: I want a baby… 
Him: (shocked look)
Me: I was watching TV the other day and found out that by age 30, women lose 90% of their eggs. You could be fertile forever, but me, not so much… and the women in my family have problems with having babies anyway… You always told me you wanted to have kids with me. 
Him: Ummm… (looks shocked still) Rusty, you wanna go outside and play?

I sat there for a little bit until he came back in and then:

Him: Let me think about it. That’s a huge deal.
Me: Okay. 
Him: We’re not very responsible.
Me: (shrugs) 
Him: This house is too little to have a baby.
Me: Oh no. My great-aunt lived in this house with four kids. We could make it work with one. 
Him: Okay, let me think about it.

He didn't flat out say no which is amazing. I'm excited at the prospect, but I'm trying not to get too excited. I think I'm going to talk to him again before my appointment next Monday and tell him I want to stop taking my birth control regardless. I have no sex drive. None. I'm sure part of it is because I'm overweight, but I can't remember the last time we had sex. That's insane because we're young people living in the same house... It also raises my blood pressure and I think it would greatly help my blood pressure if I went off of it. *shrugs*

Anyone have any suggestions of things I should ask my doctor regarding trying for a baby (if Matt agrees)? Right now I only have a couple for her:

1) Should I wait a certain amount of time after stopping my birth control before trying to conceive. (I think I read somewhere that you should wait 3 months, but I'm not sure if that's valid or where I heard it from.)

2) Would it be best to go off of my Prozac before trying to get pregnant? If so, how long after stopping Prozac can we safely try to conceive?

3) Would it be best to go ahead and change my blood pressure medication to something that's pregnancy safe or should we wait until a positive pregnancy test?

Sensitive

I think I'm too sensitive for my own good. I've always been incredibly shy and I have a hard time making new friends because I'm not good at the small talk and I don't like putting myself out there. I found the internet when I was in junior high. I've made a ton of good internet friends over the years. The first internet friend I had was a kid named Scott who lived in a suburb of Chicago. We found each other in the Yahoo! Personals before it was a dating site. He and I shared a birthday. I still have a Christmas card he sent me a bajillion years ago. My best friend for the longest time was a man named Phil. We were super close and I loved him a lot. He moved away and we lost contact. I still have him on my Yahoo! Messenger. He's occasionally online and we talk. I miss him a lot. The man who taught me to be more open and not as shy... the man who taught me that I could be loved for me and I didn't need to change for anyone. I met him online too... His name is Ryan. I ended things with him and he was so hurt we haven't talked much since. He was a great friend...

Anyway, my whole point for writing all of this is that I don't take well to criticism. I'm always so harsh on myself and I don't like when other people are... It makes me defensive and angry... usually. I know a lot of people are like, "If you don't want opinions on stuff, don't put it out there on the internet." I don't have a lot of friends in real life. I've made some lifelong friends online. I don't want to lose them and I don't want to lose the opportunity to meet great people...

Brenda: Some days, I don't know what I would do without talking to you. You let me vent. You let me cry "on your shoulder". We talk about everything and, while this might be strange since we've never met, you're probably one of my best friends. You know more about me than most of my real life friends.

Jolynn: I am so glad we met. You are an amazing woman and an amazing friend. I can't wait until you're done with school and have more free time. Maybe we can hang out again then!!! :)

Jaime, Shauna, Jennifer, and everyone else: Thank you so much for reading me over the years and giving me your advice.

I know I sometimes jump to the wrong conclusions. I know I've probably said harsh things to you and yet you're all still here. You put up with my venting and my excitement over lame things and everything.

This isn't a goodbye... I know it might sound that way, but it's really not. I'm not going anywhere... This is just an explanation of why I do the things I do... why I react the way I do. I'm not a big fan of people disagreeing with me because it makes me evaluate myself. I'm finally getting to the point where I don't care what people think of me as much as I used to. I hate confrontation. I hate fighting. I hate disagreement. I need to get stronger skin. 

Seriously

I had the hardest time sleeping last night. My co-worker's 22-year-old daughter had a baby girl yesterday morning. She is adorable and precious and she makes my biological clock tick really loudly. I think I'm going to have to have a talk with Matt very soon. I was always one of those girls who wanted to wait until marriage to have kids. Matt doesn't want to get married right now. I don't understand his reasons, but I respect him and don't want to force him into marrying me when he doesn't want to...

The thing is, I was watching television and a girl on the show I was watching found out that at age 30, women lose 90% of their eggs. I googled it and it's true. I'm already 28+. I've got less than two years before I lose 90% of my eggs. Men can stay fertile forever basically, but women, not so much... I've already explained to him that women in my family have a hard time having babies as it is... At that time he still didn't want to get married, but he said, "Let's make a baby!" I told him not without a ring on my finger first and that was that...

The more I think about it, the more I'm not sure that I DO need a ring on my finger... Yes, it would be ideal. Yes, I should be married before starting a family. However, I have been with Matt for almost nine years. He makes me happy. He supports me. He is loving. I honestly believe that we will be together forever... regardless of his holdup that he doesn't want to get married. What does a marriage license prove?

I go back to the doctor on the 17th for another check up. I want to talk to Matt before then. If he's game with trying for a baby, I want to talk to my doctor about what I need to do to try to become pregnant. I mean, I know what you need to do to get pregnant, but medically speaking. I know I'll have to stop my birth control (duh), but should I wait a few months after stopping it before actively trying to become pregnant? I am also on my blood pressure medication and Prozac. I know she said that, should I get pregnant, my medications would have to change. If I'm actively trying to get pregnant, should they change before hand? Also, are there any methods of tracking that she finds beneficial?

I'm not getting ahead of myself here. I don't want to get all excited about the prospect, and then have my heart crushed if he doesn't want to try yet... I don't know what to expect when having this talk with Matt, but I do want children and it needs to be soon if I'm going to try at all. *sigh*

Thoughts

I think it's funny that I'm running the DePhoMo group, but that I'm not really posting pictures. The reason I'm not doing it is because I don't want my photos out there with everyone else's photos… mostly because I am hosting DePhoMo. I don't know. *shrugs* I am not really in the mood to take photos, but I love looking at everyone else's photos. 

I went back to the gym last night. I went one day in the past month and before that I haven't been since the summer. I hate paying for a gym membership and not going. I went religiously for a while and was so happy and healthy. I felt great all the time. I wasn't tired all of the time. It's frustrating to me… I don't know why I don't use my membership. 

I keep thinking that I just need to find something that works for me. I don't know what I want to do though. Counting calories doesn't really work for me because I do silly things like eat ice cream for dinner. I'm honestly debating doing Weight Watchers online again. *shrugs* I got an email from them today and I've been thinking off and on all day about it. I've seen a lot of people get great results on the new plan. I tried it and didn't think it was for me, but that was a while ago and I wasn't fully vested into getting healthy. Maybe I should try again. I won't be able to afford it until the end of the year, but I could buy the three months online and stick with it until my three months are up and see what happens. 

Question for my readers: If you could afford it, would you pay for Weight Watchers, or do you think counting calories is good enough??? 

Question for those who have done Weight Watchers before: Do you think the meetings help or would online be good enough? I mean, I might be able to afford the meetings come the new year, but honestly, I live in a small town and the majority of the people who go to those meetings are older… and by older I mean in their late 50s or early 60s. 

Okay, I think I'm done for now. 

Reminder: I am doing my first vlog (video blog) this Saturday. If you have anything you want me to discuss, you can either leave me a comment/note on this entry or email me at crystal@crysrochelle.com.

Busy, Busy

Today was pretty busy.

I went to bed kind of early last night because I was tired and bored. I know, I'm lame… I'm a 28-year-old female who was in bed at 9:30 on a Friday night because I was bored. I need some friends. LOL Or some more, not as busy friends… Whatever… I woke up at 3:30 in the morning because I couldn't breathe out of my nose. Our humidifier ran out of water and that dries out my nose like nobody's business. So, I got up and filled the water tanks up on it. I couldn't go back to sleep so I stayed up with Matt and we watched a documentary about dogs on Netflix. It was so interesting. I just always wish they'd talk about Boston terriers on there. Haha… I went back to bed around 5:30 or 6.

My mom called me at 9 am and I was still in bed. I didn't wake up quickly enough to answer her first call. She called me again and I answered it. It was nice out today (low 60's) which isn't normal for December 1 st in Illinois. She wanted me to come out and help her take Hailey's Christmas pictures. I got up and threw a load of laundry in the washer, gathered up my stuff, took a shower, got ready, threw the clothes that were in the washer in the dryer, and headed to my parents'. I had to make a pit stop at the gas station or I'd have to walk (it's like 15-20 miles) and then I ran by McDonald's for breakfast. I was starving! I didn't feel well last night and didn't eat any dinner. I got to my parents' shortly after 10.

My mom and I spent about two or three hours taking pictures of Hailey and my dad's co-worker's son (Colton). Hailey will be three in a week and Colton is about 16-18 months old. They were a handful when it came to taking the photos. We literally took over 500 pictures of Hailey and got maybe a dozen good ones. We only took about 150 pictures of Colton, but we got several good ones of him which is awesome.

When we were done, we went to Walmart and IGA to get food for a birthday party tomorrow. Like I said, Hailey's birthday is next Saturday… she shares a birthday with my cousin Iris. My brother's girlfriend's oldest turned 12 less than a week ago… Kyndra's sister Linda's birthday was in August, but we missed it because she was with her dad in Chicago then. So, we're having a birthday party for all four of them tomorrow. Good times.

We went back to their house. We wrapped a few presents for the birthday party. Then my mom made us dinner. I went through some pictures we took and then we sat around talking for a while. I left at 8, came home, fed the animals, let the dog out, and here I am. Writing this… watching Restaurant: Impossible on the Food Network (I love Robert Irvine!) and waiting for 9 so I can check out the DePhoMo photos that were posted today! Alright, I'm out of here! Goodnight!

Random Ramblings

It's been a little bit since I've written. I was on vacation for a week which made me rather lazy, I'm not going to lie. Then I went back to work for just two days this week. I was super-busy getting caught up and then today was also the end of the month which means more work… Our copier also got possessed. My boss thought I was printing and I thought he was so neither one of us figured it out, but it started printing a ton of pages with a few lines of computer gibberish on them. It seriously printed about a ream of paper like that before we discovered it. Awesome. *sarcasm* My boss acted irritated, but he couldn't get too mad considering the copier is in his office. I told him since it's just a few lines on one side, we could put the paper back in the copier upside down and print on the opposite side. He said good idea. This happened right before I left work, so there's a big pile of paper on my desk that I need to jog (straighten) on Monday so that it can be put back in the copier…

So, a long while ago, I had discussed doing a vlog. I find it ironic because I've been thinking for the last few days that I needed to write about doing a vlog, and then one of my bookmarks posted her first vlog today. I wanted to do one before, but didn't realize that Matt's netbook didn't have a webcam in it. Boo! We also didn't have any other kind of webcam… Well, my new laptop does have a webcam… I've already played with it. YAY! I will be doing a vlog soon. Is there anything you want me to talk about when I do my vlog??? Let me know and I'll discuss it…

I think all of my blog entries will be posted in three places now. I did only post them in two places… on my personal site and on a site I've blogged on since I was in high school… I have two blogging sites that I have blogs on. I feel like I have different readers on each of my blogging sites so I'm going to share my entries in all three places. *shrugs* I don't want anyone to feel left out so… I'm hoping at some point to phase it over just to my personal blog/website, but I only have one follower on there right now. Haha. And she reads me elsewhere so I'm not obligated to send out emails every time I write an entry right now.

So, on one of my blogging sites, I'm hosting something called DePhoMo. This stands for December Photography Month. Basically, people sign up to participate and then post one photo every day. I just bought the domain name http://www.dephomo.com in case anything happens on that blogging site. I want people to know where to go. That blogging site isn't very reliable sometimes so… *smiles* I am so excited to be hosting it. I decided to have a prize at the end of the month. People love getting prizes. Haha.

Okay, well, I'm off for now. Trying to watch TV and type this at the same time and it's not happening so well.

Thanksgiving and Black Friday Recap

I know a lot of people don't like Black Friday. I personally am not a fan of how the deals started at 8 pm. Yes, I was done, home, and in bed by 5 am, but it took away from the Thanksgiving of every worker in every store. I tried to remember to thank everyone I spoke to that was working at every store we went to… I mean, they had to stay up all night because the crazies (me included) wanted to go shopping…

Any case… Thanksgiving was great. We went to Matt's parents' house and had a delicious dinner with them, his brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. His mother is a wonderful cook and we had a deliciously moist (eww… gross word) turkey, mashed potatoes, homemade noodles, green beans with bacon and French fried onions, hot rolls, some sort of cherry salad, both whole cranberry sauce and cranberry sauce in the shape of a can (for Matt, LOL), and a pumpkin pie… Delicious!!! Then we sat around and looked through the Black Friday ads.

Around 4:30, we left and went home. As we were driving past my aunt's house, I noticed my parents' car there. I text my mom to see if she was there and she was. She invited me over, but I told her I didn't sleep well the night before and I was going to try to take a nap before we left to go Black Friday shopping. She said she'd text or call on her way home. I said okay. I slept a bit for about an hour. A little before 7, she text and said she was on her way home. I told her I was going to pick up a coffee and asked if she wanted one. She said yes. Sadly, McDonald's was closed. Yes, I realize it was Thanksgiving night and I'm super-glad they were closed… I did want a coffee and I figured they'd be open, but I was fine when I saw they were closed… I got to my parents' shortly before 7:30.

Mom and I did a final look through of all of the ads. She wanted to go to Walmart at 8, but not for any of the big deals. She just wanted to get some of the children's games that were a little under $4 each for Hailey. We left her house and she decided she was so exhausted that I got to drive. I never drive. Ugh. We normally go to this really small town's Walmart on Black Friday because it's not crazy-packed and the people actually have some courtesy… Mom decided we'd just try out a different Walmart close to her house. OMG! Madhouse! People were rude and pushing and blocking the aisles. Some lady rammed the back of my ankle with her cart and it hurt really bad… she didn't even apologize! We were there for about an hour… We didn't get much. All I bought that time around was some pajamas for my niece.

After Walmart, we had like three hours before Kohl's opened. We wanted to go to Kohl's so I could get Matt's Christmas present. We went to K-Mart to pass time. I got my brother's girlfriend's girls a present each and then bought some pajamas for myself. When we were done there, we headed to Kohl's. We got there at 10 pm, and they didn't open the doors until 12 am. It was raining, but there was already a line forming. Mom decided we should just go stand outside the doors so we would definitely get Matt's gift. So we did. We stood outside… in the rain… for TWO HOURS! But we both found Matt's gift and we both grabbed one. They didn't have many in stock and so we text my aunt who was there too to see if she wanted one. She did. Score! LOL So we gave her one.

By the time we got checked out at Kohl's it was like 1:30 am. We decided to go back to Walmart to see if it calmed down. My mom loves the DVDs that are like $2. She uses them so stocking stuffers. We went there and it was definitely calmed down as the 8 and 10 pm shoppers were gone and the next deals didn't start until 5 am. We shopped around and I ended up spending about $60 there. Then we met my aunt, my aunt's sisters, and two of my cousins at Denny's for breakfast. It was like 3 am and they had a new waitress and she was so slow!!! But my omelet was delicious and after not eating for 14 hours, I was starving. Haha. After Denny's we headed home. When we got to my mom's house, we threw the stuff she bought in the trunk of her car and then I went home. I brought in all of my treasures (as my mom calls them), changed and went to bed. I had a hard time winding down. I think I fell asleep around 5 am.

I woke up at 9:30. I could not fall back asleep. My mind was racing for some reason. I got up and took a shower. Then I ran to the mall in my town to go to Carson's to see if they had any more of their $20 boot door busters. They did! I got Matt's sister-in-law's gift and then went to Bath and Body Works for his mom's gift. After that I headed back to Kmart to return the PJs I bought. I got two pairs and they were only supposed to be $10 each, but they charged me almost $15 each… and I wanted that money back. I have a ton of pajamas and didn't need two more pairs! I took those back and then came back to my town and went to Walmart. I bought the stuff I'd need to wrap presents with and came home. It was about 2:30-3 pm when I got home.

Around 3:30, I started wrapping my Christmas gifts. I was tired of there being a big ugly box in my living room. I wrapped for 3.5 hours, but I got everything I had bought wrapped! Also, everyone is done except for my dad and my sister's boyfriend. Excellent! After I finished wrapping, I was in the Christmas spirit so I filled out my Christmas cards. If you'd like one, just comment on this entry or send me an email at crystal@crysrochelle.com with your address and I'll get one ready for you! I love sending cards! Even if I've sent you a card before, please leave me your address because I accidentally deleted my address book (I used an excel file) somehow… Matt wanted to watch a movie so at 8ish, he started a movie on Netflix called Shooter. It started out good, but I was so exhausted, I fell asleep on the couch by 8:30. At 9:30, I got up and moved to my bed.

I didn't wake up until 8:15 this morning. I guess I needed about 12 hours of sleep. LOL I got up and started the crock pot with some Chicken Tortilla Soup in it… Then I watched some shows from my DVR and then some shows on Hulu. My Christmas tree and Furby were delivered today. Score! Matt got up around 2:30. We still had our window air conditioner units in and the one in the living room needed taken out because that's where the tree was going to go. We took them out and then I started setting up the tree. I was so pissed! It was a brand new tree and when I plugged it in a whole row of lights weren't working… I also couldn't find the bad bulb. I searched forever. I gave up and ate some dinner. Then I was hot so I lay in bed. I ended up taking a two hour nap… I'm sure I needed it after sleeping for 12 hours. LOL When I got up, I went to the tree and in two minutes I found the bad bulb and changed it. The lights worked! I was so excited. Matt went out to our shed in the cold and dark to get my decorations out. I decorated the tree and put out what few Christmas decorations I had and then cleaned up my mess. I took a shower and here I am…

I think I'm going to return my Furby. With tax, I spent just under $60 on it. I spent more than I usually do on Matt's gift and I'm going to be completely strapped for cash if I don't return it… So, I think it's going back tomorrow. Bummed. I didn't take it out of the box because of this. Ugh.

Okay, I think I'm going to go read before bed and this entry has turned into a book anyway. Adieu!

A Day of Thanks

I've seen numerous people on my Facebook feed posting something they're thankful for every day. I decided to consolidate this into one blog entry. These aren't in any particular order really… but these are the things I'm thankful for…

•  My Parents: Obviously I'm thankful for my parents who decided to bring me into this world. I've always been a daddy's girl. My mom was always the disciplinarian so I went through a phase where I was always angry with her, but we've become the best of friends. They've made it through some seriously rough patches throughout their marriage, but I'm thankful that they've stuck through their tough times and made it to thirty-three years of marriage.

•  My Siblings: While I don't always like my siblings, I have always loved them. Both of them have done things in the past to make me incredibly angry with them, but currently, they're both doing very well. Dustin is doing very well and has a great girlfriend. Because of their relationship, I've been blessed with two adorable nieces whom I love greatly! Misty is also doing very well and has blessed me with an ornery, but totally cute niece that I just want to love to pieces (though she doesn't like loves unless she wants to give them these days!)… I'm thankful that they (along with their families) are both in my life!

•  Matt: We've made it through over eight and a half years together. We've had our struggles, but we've made it through. He's a great supporter and would always take care of me if I needed him to, but he also pushes me to be the best that I can be. I love that he tells me I'm beautiful even though I've gained seventy pounds since we started dating. He's an amazing man… I'm thankful that he came into my life!

•  My Pets: Lucky isn't always the nicest cat, but she reminded me just last night why I love her. We were sitting on the couch watching television and Lucky decided she wanted to be loved. She jumped on the pillow on my tummy and started kneading it. She let me pet her and she head-butted me a few times (her way of showing love). I'm thankful for the times when she is like a regular cat and I can love on her. I'm super thankful for my little bundle of Boston Terrier… He was definitely the greatest gift I've ever been given. Sometimes his energy frustrates me, but his unconditional love shows.

•  My Friends: I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for. My best friend would move heaven and earth for me if I needed her to… it's amazing that someone who came into my life so late (after high school and college) could become so close to me! My greatest friends from high school are so fantastic too. It never ceases to amaze me how we can go months (and even years in some cases) without talking and in one phone call we're all caught up and back where we used to be. Thank you all for coming into my life!

•  My Extended Family: My extended family is rather large… just on my dad's side. I admit that I'm closer to my mom's side, but only because there aren't as many cousins and aunts and uncles… Regardless, there is a great majority of people in my family who would do anything to help me out and I appreciate that greatly. A few of you get calls from me often (ahem, Uncle Danny) with me asking for something or another and you never say no. I'm thankful that I have a wonderful family to help me out when I need them.

•  Matt's Family: Because I've been dating Matt for so long, I've grown to love his entire family with all of my heart. We may not be family by law yet, but in my heart, they're my second family. His dad is just great and I love that he tried to make me feel welcome from the first time I met him. He makes me smile a lot and I just love him to pieces. His mom is an amazing lady and I hope that as I get older I obtain some of her wisdom and grace. His brother's family is amazing. His brother cracks me up with him political rants and has helped me out when I've had problems with my car. His sister-in-law is just amazing and I wish that we could hang out more often because I always have a great time chatting with her… and his nephews… oh, his nephews… I've watched them grow and they're amazing young men… I'm thankful that they were brought in my life and that they make me feel like a part of their family.

•  My Internet Family: I've always been an internet nerd and I have an easier time expressing my opinions and views online. Because of this, I have made some great friends via the internet. I actually met Matt via the internet. I'm always telling stories about my internet friends… and a few of them have become real-life friends. Without them, I wouldn't be able to express my joys, frustrations, and whatever else comes my way, and I thank them for always listening to my ranting and rambles and everything else.

•  My Coworkers: Along with this, I'm thankful for my job… My boss tries to be a bad guy, but I know he's really a good guy deep down and I enjoy bantering with him. The rest of my coworkers are a crazy bunch of people and I love each of them for various reasons that I'm not going to get into on here. There's too many of them to start on that, but I've made some friendships that I wouldn't have had before…

•  Soldiers: I have known many soldiers because of my time in JROTC in high school. I'm thankful for each and every one of them who fight so that I can be free. I'm thankful for my high school friend Chuck who always knew he wanted to be a soldier and then died defending his country. I cannot believe it's been eight years since he's passed. I'm thankful for my cousin Daniel who has served several tours and has grown to be an amazing man. I'm thankful to the soldiers that I don't even know who have fought for me.

•  Money: I'm thankful for money… when I have it. I'm a giving person and I enjoy seeing people's faces light up when they open my gifts. I'm thankful for the bonus that my boss gave us all yesterday. I was able to buy myself a few things that I had wanted, and also have enough money to buy some amazing gifts for family and friends. I'm also thankful for the money that I get every two weeks from working. Without that money, I wouldn't be able to survive.

•  Technology: I love technology. I've already touched on my love for the internet, but I also love music and movies and television. Those of you who are close to me know that I watch a lot of television… a lot. I love being transported into another world. I get invested in the characters and it's ridiculous and amazing at the same time. I'm thankful for the musicians and actors and actresses and producers and production crew and everyone else who is involved in putting together a music CD or movie or television show. Thank you!

•  Books: From a young age, I've had a love for books. My mother would ask me to go clean my room and find me hours later in the closet with a flashlight reading. Because of my love for books, I have an aspiration to become an author and I would like to have a book published sometime in my lifetime. Along with television, books transport me to another universe and I love when something can do that for me. My imagination thrives by being thrown into another time and another place and by seeing it as another person.

•  My Health: While I am overweight, I'm overall in pretty good health. I have a few things that need to be worked on, but overall, I'm healthy. I don't have cancer or any disease. I'm strong and my heart is beating and I'm alive. I'm thankful that while I do have a few medical issues, they're mild and treatable. I'm thankful that my doctor pressures me to be a better person and because of her, I'm on the track to becoming a healthier me…

•  The Planet: I am amazed by this planet. The sun, the moon, the stars, the clouds, the grass, the trees… snow, rain, tornadoes, hurricanes… the good and the bad, this is an amazing place. I'm thankful that it's Thanksgiving and it's going to be a warm and sunny day. I'm thankful for the seasons as I enjoy watching my surroundings chase so drastically every few months.

I have a great deal of other things I am thankful for, but I need to go get ready to leave and hang out with Matt's family and then mine.

Thank you all for reading this and for being in my life in one way or another!

Excellent!

I made it back to the gym Monday night. I did 30 minutes on the recumbent bike like I said I would. It felt good, but I was so tired at the same time… My friend Jen was there when I got there. She was running on a treadmill, but she came over and rode the recumbent bike next to mine after a few minutes. We talked which made time go by faster. While my thighs felt it that night, they didn't feel it at all yesterday and my heart rate barely went up. Think I need to try something else. I may try walking again. I'd eventually like to learn how to run.

I didn't want to get up yesterday morning. I woke up at 4:45 to use the restroom and had the hardest time falling back to sleep. I don't know why I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted when I went to bed. I had gotten off work, went to the gym, stood around and talked to Jen for a while, went home and made dinner, did the dishes, filled the humidifiers, watched two shows on TV, and went to bed. I fell asleep quickly and slept solid until I woke up to pee. Ugh. Annoying. 

Last night I didn't feel well. My blood pressure was up… I could tell because my head felt full… It felt like I was swimming underwater when I stood up… That's the best way I can explain it. I didn't go to the gym. I came home and relaxed. I went to bed at 9:30 and was so tired I slept solid until 6:30 this morning. I woke up a couple of times because I was cold or because my dog wanted under the blankets, but other than that, I slept so good!!! 

Today has been a great day so far! I ordered a new Christmas tree online a week ago. It wasn't due to be delivered until December 3 rd . Meaning that it was out of stock until then. I got an email notification this morning that it shipped! That means it should arrive while I'm home and I'll be able to put it up earlier than I thought! YAY! 

Also, today is my last day of work until NEXT THURSDAY! A whole week away from work! What am I going to do with myself?! LOL 

Last year, on the last day of work before Thanksgiving, my boss gave us all bonuses that were worth two weeks of pay. Awesome! This year I was secretly hoping for the bonus, but not trying to get my hopes up too much in case it didn't happen. Yesterday I heard one of my coworkers print a bunch of checks. He normally doesn't print checks. I heard him in the office whispering with my boss so my hopes got raised that we'd be getting bonuses. Today at work, my boss was there in the morning. Last year our checks were handed to us as soon as we got in the door. That didn't happen this year. As the day went on my hopes got crushed and I was sad… Then, out of nowhere, my coworker who printed the checks handed us each one. Along with a note that reads:

Thank you for your help over the past year and have a good Christmas. Even though we have done this 2 times at the same time, this will not happen again due to the deteriorating business environment. It will not happen again 2013.

Tim

Sweet! An extra $600 for me!!! I've wanted to buy myself a laptop for a long time… a really long time. It would be amazing to be able to sit where ever I want to work on my writing or whatever. I was excited because yesterday when I thought we were getting checks, I looked online and found one I wanted in a pre-Black Friday sale on Walmart. I went there today and it's sold out and not sold in my local store. Bummer! My coworker was like, “Check Staples. They might have it.” So I did and they did! They had the exact same computer except with 2GB more memory (4GB as opposed to 2GB) for the same price! WOOT! I ordered it and it will be delivered Monday! 

I'm also a huge kid at heart and when Furby's came out the first time around I had one. I loved my Furby and loved teaching him tricks and stuff. I don't know what ever happened to him. Well, they're out again, if you were unaware. My mom ordered my 9 and 12 year old nieces each one for their birthday. I told her I was going to order myself one and I did! It should be delivered by next Thursday. LOL

I still have plenty of money to go Black Friday shopping with my mom as well! YAY BOSS!!!

Okay, I need to post this so I can get back to work. Adios!

Gymming It

I have been absent from the gym for a long time! I had been going to the gym regularly before that. I was going at least three days a week for cardio and usually five days a week for strength training which I now know is the opposite of what I should have been doing. Haha. Honestly, my thoughts were like this… When I was binge eating all the time, why should I bother going to the gym when I worked my butt off, but then ate like crap… My weight always stayed the same or crept higher.

Now that I've got my eating under control, I need to start going back to the gym. Luckily, I never canceled my Curves membership. It's on hold until the end of the year, and honestly, when that time comes, I'll be able to afford it again so I think I'll just keep it. I do enjoy Curves a lot and when I get into the habit of going, it works wonders for me… I still have my YMCA membership. Considering I qualify for financial aid, I don't pay very much for that membership. I probably should have seen if there was a way to put that membership on hold while I figured out my binge eating, but I didn't… oh well.

I'm planning on going back to the gym tonight. I'm really weird and don't want to go back when I can't go for a solid week in a row… I'm breaking my rule and going back this weekend when I for sure won't be able to go on Thursday. I'm just hoping that maybe I can do a workout video or something before going to Matt's parents' for lunch on Thanksgiving. I even canceled seeing Breaking Dawn Part 2 tonight with my bestie so I can go to the gym… I'm crazy, but I'll make it. LOL

I'm home for lunch right now. When my boyfriend gets up, I'm going to go pack my gym bag so I have it with me. If I have to go home to get it, I won't make it to the gym. It's how I am. LOL I need some capris or pants, a comfy tee, a workout bra, some socks, and my heart rate monitor. Considering it's been so long since I've been to the gym, I think I'm going to just do a recumbent bike for half an hour or so… Once I get the hang of going to the gym again, I'll up my workouts, but something fairly easy and pain free would be good to start with.

I just fried up some sausage for my dinner tonight. I'm making a not-so-calorie-friendly dish. It's something I've made up myself. You basically make a lasagna out of beef and cheese ravioli. You layer half in the bottom of a 13x9 baking sheet, and then you take a container of ricotta with some parmesan and mozzarella in it… spread that out over the ravioli, add some more ravioli, top with sauce and mozzarella and bake until cooked through. Yum! We're having it with some broccoli and cauliflower and garlic bread. It's a BIG dinner which is part of the reason I wanted to go to the gym tonight… so I'm not over on my calories. LOL

Okay, I need to get busy getting my crap together. I'll write soon! Adieu!

Hard at Work

I've been hard at work on my site. It's coming along nicely in my opinion. There are a lot of things that still need added, but I've basically figured out the layout and how I want things. There are a lot of design items that I need to look into... I also need to figure something else out to put down below my "Follow Me" thing so that the space is continuous. I cannot change the size of the email notifications sign-up thing. Hmmm...

I've uploaded every page, but so far they all look the same... like this one. I haven't gone through and edited the content on each page yet. I also made a thank you page for when someone signs up for email notifications, but when I just tested it, it didn't work. No idea why. I've used the same website before and not had any problems. Hmmm again...

Non-site related stuff... I've been busy at work. Mostly because I only work Monday through Wednesday of this coming up week and then I'm off for a week straight! I haven't been off for a week straight since I started working there! It's amazing though! :) I don't even have many plans. Our house needs a good scrubbing so I'll hopefully get that done on one of my days off. Also, I'm planning on decorating for Christmas at some point as well. The only thing that stinks is that I ordered a new Christmas tree online and it's not due to arrive until December 3rd. Ugh... I'll just have to wait until then to put up my tree and whatnot...

I'm sad because I'm beyond broke so I won't be able to go Black Friday shopping this year. I've gone the past three years and I've enjoyed it each time... I'm not holding my breath, but I might have a couple of fingers crossed that my boss will give us a Thanksgiving bonus again this year... I doubt it, but it would be nice!

Okay, I better get back to work... I just wanted to write an entry so I could see what it looks like!

Thanks for visiting!!!

Fail

I feel like a failure at keeping this blog up to date... *shrugs* I just write in too many places. I'm going to copy and paste my entry from another blog I write into this one...

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So, we all know the worries that come about from having [other blogging site] down without a word from Bruce (site owner)... I'm sure he has a life outside of [other blogging site] and it doesn't really anger me, but it does worry me. I love this community which is why I will never leave it willingly, but I'm worried about losing my entries and losing contact with all of you should something happen to [other blogging site]. I've decided that I'm going to launch a website for ME. It will be my website... nothing else. It will have a blog and all of the other information about me that I can think of... I also think I will be deleting my weight loss blog (THIS BLOG) and only be writing on my website. I need to figure out a variety of things though... *shrugs* Like:

1. What to name my website... I'm leaning towards "Crys Rochelle" right now. A lot of my friends call me Crys (pronounced like Chris) since my name is Crystal, and Rochelle is my middle name. My Twitter handle is currently CrysRochelle and I like how it sounds, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to use or not... Anyone else have any ideas for a website title?
2. How to get notes on my blog entries... Without using a WordPress, Blogger, or [other blogging site]-type site to write my entries, I will need to figure out a way to allow people to comment on my entries. I could always add a Google form that would allow only private notes to me... or there's a website that I want to try out that gives you code to put in your website which allows you to add public comments. I will need to look into this one further.
3. How to notify people of new entries... I've got an idea for this, which would be sorta what happens when you sign up for email notifications from Blogger. I'm thinking of putting a place for email addresses where people can sign up to get email alerts when I post a new entry. Then when I do, the people who want to be notified of entries will get an email from me with the entry in it. They can visit the site for comments or whatever if they want, but they'd at least be notified of new entries.

I'm thinking that's all I've got to figure out for now. Don't worry though... once I get my website up and running, I will copy and paste all entries that I write there over here and vice versa. :)Okay, I'm off to do some actual work.  Adios!

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So, what do you all think? I will be sure to let you all know when the time comes what my new website is, but I'm having a hard time keeping all of my things separate and I'm so worried that any one of the site's I blog at is going to randomly shut down on me... I can control what happens to my website when I make a website from scratch. *shrugs*

Changes

I can feel changes in myself... Probably a big helper is that I haven't really been concentrating on diet or exercise, but the weight keeps coming off. I've lost 1.6 pounds since last week and I lost he same amount the week before. I'm officially down 7.6 pounds from my highest weight which is very exciting to me. Mainly because I haven't been doing anything and the weight is still coming off. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been binge eating at all.

Yesterday I thought I was eating a lot, but in reality, I really didn't. I had a cup of dry cereal for breakfast, a hot ham and cheese sandwich on a hamburger bun and a light yogurt for lunch, an ice cream sandwich for an afternoon snack, about two cups of taco soup with some cheese for dinner, and another ice cream sandwich for dessert... Honestly, that's like 1300 calories and I felt so full at the end of the day.

My life is crazy hectic the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow my boyfriend is competing in this gaming thing. I'm not 100% sure how it works, but it's a gaming version of The Hunger Games. It's like 24 of the best gamers from the game DayZ get together and play until there's only one survivor. I'm not sure when it starts but he said he'd need the living room TV most of the day (he has his computer hooked up to that TV and that's what he uses for gaming). While I'm not a gamer in the slightest, I'm so proud of him for being in the top 24 gamers for this competition deal. :)

While he's doing that, I'm not sure what I'll do. I don't really have a lot of plans all weekend... I need to start packing some things for my trip. I also need to go get a few groceries for my trip. Last year, we were too busy to ate and they had an awesome sandwich cart lined up so I don't think I'm going to take much food. Maybe some Sprite (I get nervous which makes me have an upset stomach) and water, and then some PopTarts (which I know aren't healthy, but they stay down good when I'm nervous and they fill me up with some calories) and some Goldfish crackers. That's what I took last year and that's about all that I ate. Haha...

Some night early next week I'm going out to dinner with my friend Megan. She's helping out with the pupster while I'm away so I wanted to go eat with her beforehand. Should be good times. Also, some night we're probably going to have a "birthday party" at my parents' for my brother's girlfriend (October 12th) and me (October 27th). This party consists of food and that's it. Haha. 

I leave on Thursday morning around 7-8 am. My friend Briana who lives in Indy is swinging by to pick me up and then we'll go pick up another lady and then we're heading to Chicago. I'm glad I can hitch a ride with her because it'll save me like $50 in gas and parking. I'm giving her $30ish to help with gas and parking though. I will spend almost five days with nerd friends like me and some celebrities too. :) It should be a blast. I'll be back around 6 or 7 pm on Monday evening.

When I get back to work on Tuesday, I'll be playing make up from missing three days of work and then Wednesday is the end of the month which is usually super busy too. Don't expect to see me around for about a week probably... unless I get the urge to write from home which rarely happens... I imagine I'll probably still be playing catch up once I'm done with end of the month stuff next week so I'll be busy and stressed.

The following week I'm planning on going back to the gym... Oh, my Curves financial hold is supposed to be up on the 31st. I'm documenting this here so I don't forget. I called today at about 12:15 and spoke with a Curves coach named Mary who started shortly before I stopped going. I told her that I'm not going to be able to come back at the end of the month because I'm having such a hard time getting caught up on my bills and that I'm actually trying to figure out a side-business to earn more money. Then I asked if I needed to come in and fill in paperwork to cancel my membership. She was like, "Nope! I'll just extend it out until the end of the year for you!" Score! I actually may go back because once I get my last paycheck of the year, my financial problems should be alleviated some...

I think I'm just not going to do anything to earn more money right now. Because I just looked at my budget for next year and, like I said, I'm fairly positive that come the end of the year, my money woes won't be as severe... I would honestly consider doing Scentsy, but no one would be willing to throw a party or a catalog party, so what's the point???

Alright, it's my lunch time so I'm cutting this off... Talk to y'all later!

Excuses, Excuses... + Money Woes

I'm not going to lie. I've been slacking horribly on the diet and exercise front. I realize that it's a lifestyle change and not a "diet"... I wanted to get my mental health in check before really concentrating on weight loss. Now that I'm on the Prozac, I feel more in control of what I eat... Instead of the nagging "I NEED, I NEED" feeling I get which causes a binge, I feel... "normal". By this I mean, I eat when I want and I eat what I want without being obsessed or compelled to eat. This is HUGE for me. I need to go back to the gym, but I'm not yet. I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but to get into the habit of going to the gym, I need to go six days a week for at least two weeks in a row and then I won't want to miss. I can't do that yet. I'm aiming for going back the week of November 4th. I run a weight loss support group on another website and that is when the next phase of that begins. I don't know...

I am supposed to go to Chicago next weekend for a convention. Many of my longtime readers will know that I am a complete nerd and I love the television show Supernatural. I run a fan site and everything. Haha. Anyway, there is a convention in Chicago next weekend to hang out with the celebs and what have you. I've already spent in the vicinity of $1200 to go. My roomie just found out she's on the schedule at work that weekend even though they already approved the time off. She's got to talk to her manager about it, who is out of the office currently. If she can't go, I'm probably going to try to sell my tickets because...

I AM BEYOND BROKE. I literally have less than $5 in my checking account and nothing in my savings. I have two "real" credit cards with a combined spending limit of $620 and both of them are basically maxed out. I took a loan to go to the convention last year and I'm still working on paying that off. I owe about $8000 on that (they also consolidated all of my previous debt and the interest rate is really high, that is if I had to pay all of the interest too). I owe about $11,000 for my car still. Oh, I have a Fashion Bug card that has about $400 on it. Awesome. Money sucks. In February of last year I was completely out of debt. Now I have all of this debt but at least all of my accounts are in good standing these days. *sigh*

I would LOVE to have a work-from-home business that is legitimate. No lie. I have a set schedule at work so I suppose I COULD pick up an evening/weekend job, but I don't want that. I want a job where I can set my own schedule and work only when I want to and only do what I want when I want which is difficult to find. I know I'm being picky, but I do want more money.

I thought about building a web design business. I do have a certificate in web design, but I am not a professional by any means and I can only do my websites a certain way. I make them all virtually the same. For an example, you can visit my fan site Supernatural Fandom. Basically all of my sites look like that. *shrugs* I don't like fancy or over the top sites so I hate doing them and never learned how to do them.

Then I thought about maybe doing freelance editing, but I have no idea how to get the word out there. I don't have any type of English degree, but I was told that is okay. I am a grammar queen and any time anyone needs something sent off, they send it to me to proofread. I have proofed two books that a girl that I know has written. I did them for free, but I figure I could maybe get paid to do this somehow. I don't know.

I even considered doing something like... Scentsy or Thirty-One or something, but I don't know if I want to get into that... not to mention a ton of people I know already do that. I just got out of selling AVON. I never made ANY money selling AVON because I bought too many products and I didn't work hard to try to find people to buy from me. I didn't want to have to hunt down the people who bought to deliver the items. I suppose if I did Scentsy or Thirty-One, I'd at least have parties and could worry about getting the merchandise to the party holder instead of the customers themselves. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a salesperson so I don't know that I'd do well with something like that. I didn't like AVON because you couldn't promote your business outside of their site. I think that's SUPER lame. I got in trouble for having a Facebook page where I could promote my business. Like they threatened to immediately remove me as a representative and threatened legal action if I didn't take it down right away. Seriously...

Any advice for me? I really want to find some extra money somehow, but with my work schedule now, I don't want to get a second job. I just want to do something from home in my free time... 2-3 hours an evening or maybe 16 hours over a weekend or something. *shrugs* Help!?

Food

Okay, so... I was thinking and I don't understand why society thinks that you need food in honor to celebrate or mourn or just... whatever.

We have ten employees that work in my store. One doesn't celebrate his birthday at work. Out of the other nine of us, FIVE of us have October birthdays... We bring in food for our co-worker's birthdays. Since there are five of us in October, we just do two celebrations. One at the beginning of the month for two of the employees and one towards the end of the month for the remaining three of us. We had our food day for the beginning of the month yesterday. No one ever brings anything remotely healthy... this time, we kind of had a couple of healthy options which was good. We had macaroni and cheese and meatballs (not healthy), and then chicken enchilada soup (which is healthy until you add the cheese and sour cream) and ham with potatoes and green beans. Then we had brownies, mini pies, and cinnamon rolls. Ack!

Needless to say, I didn't make the best choices. It also doesn't help that I've lost all side effects of my Prozac except one... I can't use the bathroom. Add that to the fact that my Auntie Flo is supposed to be visiting this weekend and you get a doubly bloated me. I felt like a whale this morning when I got on the scale... expecting it to mock me and be horribly high. Honestly? I'm up two pounds from last week, but I'm surprised it's not more. I'm sure once I'm able to use the restroom, it will drop a lot... Ugh. If I don't go by Sunday, I'm going to go get some stool softener... no laxatives cause I hate those, but something's gotta be done...

Anyway, back onto the main topic of my entry. Food. My mom's birthday is Monday and we're starting the celebrations tonight. With food and drinks... followed by tomorrow (her party) with even more food... Ugh. I don't get why celebrations have to have so much food!!! I was hoping this would be more eloquent, but apparently it's not. Haha...

Any case, my mom's friend's daughter just brought by her birthday cake. It's so nice!!!

I was going to go buy over-the-hill themed things, but I'm wondering if I should maybe just get a couple over the hill balloons and then some bright ones to kind of match her cake? LOL I don't know.

Death Sucks

I didn't have time to write an entry yesterday and even if I did, I doubt I really would have... especially about this topic. Three years ago yesterday, my (just turned) 18 year old cousin was killed in an automobile accident. Death is hard to begin with, but the unexpected death of one so young cuts like a knife. He was being stupid and irresponsible like young men can be, but most of the time, the idiocracy doesn't result in the deaths of two young men.

Mitch and his friend Nathan were killed in the car accident. Neither were wearing their seat belts and they were both thrown from the car. Their friend Damien who was also in the car survived with only minimal injuries, but he was wearing his seat belt.

The best thing that came from Mitchel's death is that he had a rare blood type. Apparently, only about 4% of the population have the same blood type he did... My aunt and uncle decided to donate his organs and he saved the lives of four individuals who would have probably otherwise died themselves. His family had received letters from and actually met a recipient of his organs. I believe that would humble me to the core.

While we're on the subject... Life is not fair. My dad's cousin's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years back. She fought hard and won her battle remaining in remission for a while. Her hair is long and she was healthy. A couple of weeks ago, she got the terrible news that the cancer had returned and this time it was in her liver. They currently have about $120,000 in medical bills from her first battle with cancer. Her doctor informed her that there is only an experimental treatment she could try, but since it was experimental, her insurance probably wouldn't pay for it unless she could get into a teaching school. He was going to try to get her into one of those. But regardless... even with this treatment, and even if it works, they're only giving her a year to live... If she can't get the treatment, they're giving her 3-6 months.

She's currently marking things off of her bucket list. She had never seen the ocean, and right now she's in Florida for a week with her sister... feet in the ocean, butt in the sand... :) She also wanted to see her house finished before she passes so my dad (who works in construction) along with a bunch of other family and friends are donating their time and labor to helping finish the remodeling of her house. They're hoping to be done by Sunday as she will be back from Florida Monday.

Cancer sucks.
Death sucks.

September Foodie Penpal Reveal

This month, I received my package from Valerie over at LiveFit Journey.

What I love most about my work is that I live only four blocks away. Because of this, my mailman at work is also my mailman at home. I was sitting at my desk doing normal daily work when the mailman came in and said, "I have a package for you. I didn't want to leave it on your porch at home because it looks like it's going to rain." YAY MAILMAN! :) So, I ripped open the package and found:

My note says:

Hello! I know you are on a journey to weight loss so I wanted to give you some snacks I enjoy. With clean eating it is important to eat every 2-3 hours and always have a protein and a carb. I sometimes will have the popcorn with almonds or the plantains with trail mix. If I want to snack at night I will have the tea. I also ♥ dark chocolate. Enjoy. ♥ Valerie

Luna Protein bar - Chocolate Peanut Butter
I immediately opened up the Luna Protein bar as I hadn't eaten breakfast yet and it sounded amazing. It was just as delicious as I imagined it would be. I mean, you can't really go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter together... in about any form. :)


Trader Joe's Roasted Plantain Chips
I have never had a plantain chip in my life. I loved that the ingredients list was so short - just three items - plantains, sunflower oil, and salt. I was curious as to whether I would like these or not so I decided to take out a serving and have a little snack. They were pretty dang good. I think they would be better if they were mixed with maybe some granola and raisins and other things, but on their own, they were still delicious. They tasted more like a potato chip than a banana chip, but they were still yummy!!!

Trader Joe's Lite Kettle Corn and Blue Diamond Whole Natural Almonds
Okay, so Valerie's tip on this was that she sometimes mixes these together for a snack. I took a serving of the almonds and poured it into the bag (a single serving) of the kettle corn to have a delicious afternoon snack. I would totally do it again... though it makes me sad that the nearest Whole Foods or Trader Joe's to me is in Indianapolis which is about three hours away. Bummer.

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic 72% Cacao Belgian Dark Chocolate Bar
This bar says it is an intense, full bodied dark chocolate made from fairly traded cocoa beans. I'm down with that. I LOVE chocolate and recently I discovered how much I actually love DARK chocolate. I had to try it so I broke off a piece and was surprised to find it delicious. At first I thought it put off an almost beer-like taste (I'm not sure why), but then I just tasted yummy dark chocolate... The second time I tried it, I didn't catch any of the beer-taste so it must have just not meshed well with whatever I ate before the chocolate. I feel like I should point out that I am from east central Illinois. We eat meat, and a lot of it, and there aren't a lot of vegetarians or vegans or even clean eaters in this area. It's really hard to find just plain organic food in these parts so I'm always surprised when I eat something organic and it's delicious... like this gigantic chocolate bar.

Trader Joe's Specialty Teas Mango Black Tea
It seems like Valerie really knows me, although I didn't really tell her any of this stuff, but I LOVE tea and I love teas with citrus flavors in them. My absolute favorite tea is green tea with honey and lemon. It's so yummy and warm on cool fall/winter days... Anyway, I decided to try a cup of this delicious tea by itself the other morning with my breakfast. It was awesome just the way that it was which is amazing... usually I have to sweeten my hot tea up with sugar. I'm glad that I have a whole box of this yummy tea to drink as the weather changes to fall and everything gets colder. Hot tea is my favorite!

Short One

My foodie penpals entry is due to auto post in the morning so I thought about skipping an entry tonight and then decided against it... Today was really relaxed. I woke up around 9 to a missed text from my dad so I called him. He wanted to discuss my mom's birthday party with me. I watched some TV and took about (no lie) half a dozen calls from my dad and one more from my mom. I had to pause the TV each time. One of the times, my dad said that my mom was making chicken tetrazzini (my absolute favorite food!!!) and was inviting me out to eat. I don't know how many shows I watched, but I stopped watching around three and went and took a shower. Around four, I left and went to my sister's new apartment. She used to live in a town about 30-40 minutes away but this weekend she moved into the same town as me! She has a pay-as-you-go phone and was out of minutes. I had to go surprise her and see if she wanted to go to my parents' for dinner. Of course she did. So she changed and off we went. We got to my parents' around 4:30ish and waited (im)patiently for the food to get done and the rest of the guests to arrive. We had the tetrazzini, green beans, Hawaiian sweet rolls, and cheesecake for dessert. I ate two big pieces of tetrazzini (I only had a small breakfast), some green beans, two rolls, and my mom and I split a slice of cheesecake. I'd say it was maybe an inch wide at the crust. It was super-rich though and that was plenty. Then we sat around and chatted for a bit. Around 7:30 my niece was trying to fall asleep so I took them home and came home and here I am. It's only a little after 8:30 and I'm ready for bed!

I think I'm going to go change into some PJs, take my meds, and hit the hay early tonight. ZzzZzzzzzZz

Night guys!

Relaxation

Today was a good day. I got up and watched some shows that were on my DVR. My boyfriend was off work all week (he works seconds) and so he was messing with my TV watching... not that I didn't want him home. It was nice. :) Then we showered and got ready and went out to his parents' house. Annually, they have a weenie roast and the invite different people each time. This year it was me, my boyfriend, his brother, his sister-in-law, the boyfriend's best friend (who lived with my boyfriend and his parents for a while during high school) and wife, and his parents... oh and two dogs. :) We sat around this beautiful fire:

and talked about a wide variety of things. We ate a lot of food including hot dogs, baked beans, pasta salad, potato salad, chili, steamed edamame, buffalo chicken dip, potato chips, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bars, brownies, and rice krispy treats. His mom even made sure we all had our favorite alcoholic beverages (I asked my pharmacist who said it was okay to have a drink or two on occasion with my Prozac) and I had two Amaretto Stone Sours. I didn't overstuff myself. I had a little bit of almost everything. I mostly enjoyed the conversation. I sat next to my boyfriend's sister-in-law who I absolutely adore. We chatted about a lot of things from hair styles to movies to books. She's just a great girl and I love her to death. His parents are usually in bed by 8 so I was surprised that we were there until about 9:45. That's very odd (except for Christmas Eve)...

All-in-all it was a great night and now I'm super sleepy and my bed is calling my name. Night!!!