Friday, October 19, 2012


I can feel changes in myself... Probably a big helper is that I haven't really been concentrating on diet or exercise, but the weight keeps coming off. I've lost 1.6 pounds since last week and I lost he same amount the week before. I'm officially down 7.6 pounds from my highest weight which is very exciting to me. Mainly because I haven't been doing anything and the weight is still coming off. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been binge eating at all.

Yesterday I thought I was eating a lot, but in reality, I really didn't. I had a cup of dry cereal for breakfast, a hot ham and cheese sandwich on a hamburger bun and a light yogurt for lunch, an ice cream sandwich for an afternoon snack, about two cups of taco soup with some cheese for dinner, and another ice cream sandwich for dessert... Honestly, that's like 1300 calories and I felt so full at the end of the day.

My life is crazy hectic the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow my boyfriend is competing in this gaming thing. I'm not 100% sure how it works, but it's a gaming version of The Hunger Games. It's like 24 of the best gamers from the game DayZ get together and play until there's only one survivor. I'm not sure when it starts but he said he'd need the living room TV most of the day (he has his computer hooked up to that TV and that's what he uses for gaming). While I'm not a gamer in the slightest, I'm so proud of him for being in the top 24 gamers for this competition deal. :)

While he's doing that, I'm not sure what I'll do. I don't really have a lot of plans all weekend... I need to start packing some things for my trip. I also need to go get a few groceries for my trip. Last year, we were too busy to ate and they had an awesome sandwich cart lined up so I don't think I'm going to take much food. Maybe some Sprite (I get nervous which makes me have an upset stomach) and water, and then some PopTarts (which I know aren't healthy, but they stay down good when I'm nervous and they fill me up with some calories) and some Goldfish crackers. That's what I took last year and that's about all that I ate. Haha...

Some night early next week I'm going out to dinner with my friend Megan. She's helping out with the pupster while I'm away so I wanted to go eat with her beforehand. Should be good times. Also, some night we're probably going to have a "birthday party" at my parents' for my brother's girlfriend (October 12th) and me (October 27th). This party consists of food and that's it. Haha. 

I leave on Thursday morning around 7-8 am. My friend Briana who lives in Indy is swinging by to pick me up and then we'll go pick up another lady and then we're heading to Chicago. I'm glad I can hitch a ride with her because it'll save me like $50 in gas and parking. I'm giving her $30ish to help with gas and parking though. I will spend almost five days with nerd friends like me and some celebrities too. :) It should be a blast. I'll be back around 6 or 7 pm on Monday evening.

When I get back to work on Tuesday, I'll be playing make up from missing three days of work and then Wednesday is the end of the month which is usually super busy too. Don't expect to see me around for about a week probably... unless I get the urge to write from home which rarely happens... I imagine I'll probably still be playing catch up once I'm done with end of the month stuff next week so I'll be busy and stressed.

The following week I'm planning on going back to the gym... Oh, my Curves financial hold is supposed to be up on the 31st. I'm documenting this here so I don't forget. I called today at about 12:15 and spoke with a Curves coach named Mary who started shortly before I stopped going. I told her that I'm not going to be able to come back at the end of the month because I'm having such a hard time getting caught up on my bills and that I'm actually trying to figure out a side-business to earn more money. Then I asked if I needed to come in and fill in paperwork to cancel my membership. She was like, "Nope! I'll just extend it out until the end of the year for you!" Score! I actually may go back because once I get my last paycheck of the year, my financial problems should be alleviated some...

I think I'm just not going to do anything to earn more money right now. Because I just looked at my budget for next year and, like I said, I'm fairly positive that come the end of the year, my money woes won't be as severe... I would honestly consider doing Scentsy, but no one would be willing to throw a party or a catalog party, so what's the point???

Alright, it's my lunch time so I'm cutting this off... Talk to y'all later!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Excuses, Excuses... + Money Woes

I'm not going to lie. I've been slacking horribly on the diet and exercise front. I realize that it's a lifestyle change and not a "diet"... I wanted to get my mental health in check before really concentrating on weight loss. Now that I'm on the Prozac, I feel more in control of what I eat... Instead of the nagging "I NEED, I NEED" feeling I get which causes a binge, I feel... "normal". By this I mean, I eat when I want and I eat what I want without being obsessed or compelled to eat. This is HUGE for me. I need to go back to the gym, but I'm not yet. I know this sounds like a lame excuse, but to get into the habit of going to the gym, I need to go six days a week for at least two weeks in a row and then I won't want to miss. I can't do that yet. I'm aiming for going back the week of November 4th. I run a weight loss support group on another website and that is when the next phase of that begins. I don't know...

I am supposed to go to Chicago next weekend for a convention. Many of my longtime readers will know that I am a complete nerd and I love the television show Supernatural. I run a fan site and everything. Haha. Anyway, there is a convention in Chicago next weekend to hang out with the celebs and what have you. I've already spent in the vicinity of $1200 to go. My roomie just found out she's on the schedule at work that weekend even though they already approved the time off. She's got to talk to her manager about it, who is out of the office currently. If she can't go, I'm probably going to try to sell my tickets because...

I AM BEYOND BROKE. I literally have less than $5 in my checking account and nothing in my savings. I have two "real" credit cards with a combined spending limit of $620 and both of them are basically maxed out. I took a loan to go to the convention last year and I'm still working on paying that off. I owe about $8000 on that (they also consolidated all of my previous debt and the interest rate is really high, that is if I had to pay all of the interest too). I owe about $11,000 for my car still. Oh, I have a Fashion Bug card that has about $400 on it. Awesome. Money sucks. In February of last year I was completely out of debt. Now I have all of this debt but at least all of my accounts are in good standing these days. *sigh*

I would LOVE to have a work-from-home business that is legitimate. No lie. I have a set schedule at work so I suppose I COULD pick up an evening/weekend job, but I don't want that. I want a job where I can set my own schedule and work only when I want to and only do what I want when I want which is difficult to find. I know I'm being picky, but I do want more money.

I thought about building a web design business. I do have a certificate in web design, but I am not a professional by any means and I can only do my websites a certain way. I make them all virtually the same. For an example, you can visit my fan site Supernatural Fandom. Basically all of my sites look like that. *shrugs* I don't like fancy or over the top sites so I hate doing them and never learned how to do them.

Then I thought about maybe doing freelance editing, but I have no idea how to get the word out there. I don't have any type of English degree, but I was told that is okay. I am a grammar queen and any time anyone needs something sent off, they send it to me to proofread. I have proofed two books that a girl that I know has written. I did them for free, but I figure I could maybe get paid to do this somehow. I don't know.

I even considered doing something like... Scentsy or Thirty-One or something, but I don't know if I want to get into that... not to mention a ton of people I know already do that. I just got out of selling AVON. I never made ANY money selling AVON because I bought too many products and I didn't work hard to try to find people to buy from me. I didn't want to have to hunt down the people who bought to deliver the items. I suppose if I did Scentsy or Thirty-One, I'd at least have parties and could worry about getting the merchandise to the party holder instead of the customers themselves. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a salesperson so I don't know that I'd do well with something like that. I didn't like AVON because you couldn't promote your business outside of their site. I think that's SUPER lame. I got in trouble for having a Facebook page where I could promote my business. Like they threatened to immediately remove me as a representative and threatened legal action if I didn't take it down right away. Seriously...

Any advice for me? I really want to find some extra money somehow, but with my work schedule now, I don't want to get a second job. I just want to do something from home in my free time... 2-3 hours an evening or maybe 16 hours over a weekend or something. *shrugs* Help!?

Friday, October 5, 2012


Okay, so... I was thinking and I don't understand why society thinks that you need food in honor to celebrate or mourn or just... whatever.

We have ten employees that work in my store. One doesn't celebrate his birthday at work. Out of the other nine of us, FIVE of us have October birthdays... We bring in food for our co-worker's birthdays. Since there are five of us in October, we just do two celebrations. One at the beginning of the month for two of the employees and one towards the end of the month for the remaining three of us. We had our food day for the beginning of the month yesterday. No one ever brings anything remotely healthy... this time, we kind of had a couple of healthy options which was good. We had macaroni and cheese and meatballs (not healthy), and then chicken enchilada soup (which is healthy until you add the cheese and sour cream) and ham with potatoes and green beans. Then we had brownies, mini pies, and cinnamon rolls. Ack!

Needless to say, I didn't make the best choices. It also doesn't help that I've lost all side effects of my Prozac except one... I can't use the bathroom. Add that to the fact that my Auntie Flo is supposed to be visiting this weekend and you get a doubly bloated me. I felt like a whale this morning when I got on the scale... expecting it to mock me and be horribly high. Honestly? I'm up two pounds from last week, but I'm surprised it's not more. I'm sure once I'm able to use the restroom, it will drop a lot... Ugh. If I don't go by Sunday, I'm going to go get some stool softener... no laxatives cause I hate those, but something's gotta be done...

Anyway, back onto the main topic of my entry. Food. My mom's birthday is Monday and we're starting the celebrations tonight. With food and drinks... followed by tomorrow (her party) with even more food... Ugh. I don't get why celebrations have to have so much food!!! I was hoping this would be more eloquent, but apparently it's not. Haha...

Any case, my mom's friend's daughter just brought by her birthday cake. It's so nice!!!

I was going to go buy over-the-hill themed things, but I'm wondering if I should maybe just get a couple over the hill balloons and then some bright ones to kind of match her cake? LOL I don't know.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Death Sucks

I didn't have time to write an entry yesterday and even if I did, I doubt I really would have... especially about this topic. Three years ago yesterday, my (just turned) 18 year old cousin was killed in an automobile accident. Death is hard to begin with, but the unexpected death of one so young cuts like a knife. He was being stupid and irresponsible like young men can be, but most of the time, the idiocracy doesn't result in the deaths of two young men.

Mitch and his friend Nathan were killed in the car accident. Neither were wearing their seat belts and they were both thrown from the car. Their friend Damien who was also in the car survived with only minimal injuries, but he was wearing his seat belt.

The best thing that came from Mitchel's death is that he had a rare blood type. Apparently, only about 4% of the population have the same blood type he did... My aunt and uncle decided to donate his organs and he saved the lives of four individuals who would have probably otherwise died themselves. His family had received letters from and actually met a recipient of his organs. I believe that would humble me to the core.

While we're on the subject... Life is not fair. My dad's cousin's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years back. She fought hard and won her battle remaining in remission for a while. Her hair is long and she was healthy. A couple of weeks ago, she got the terrible news that the cancer had returned and this time it was in her liver. They currently have about $120,000 in medical bills from her first battle with cancer. Her doctor informed her that there is only an experimental treatment she could try, but since it was experimental, her insurance probably wouldn't pay for it unless she could get into a teaching school. He was going to try to get her into one of those. But regardless... even with this treatment, and even if it works, they're only giving her a year to live... If she can't get the treatment, they're giving her 3-6 months.

She's currently marking things off of her bucket list. She had never seen the ocean, and right now she's in Florida for a week with her sister... feet in the ocean, butt in the sand... :) She also wanted to see her house finished before she passes so my dad (who works in construction) along with a bunch of other family and friends are donating their time and labor to helping finish the remodeling of her house. They're hoping to be done by Sunday as she will be back from Florida Monday.

Cancer sucks.
Death sucks.

Monday, October 1, 2012

September Foodie Penpal Reveal

The Lean Green Bean
This month, I received my package from Valerie over at LiveFit Journey.
What I love most about my work is that I live only four blocks away. Because of this, my mailman at work is also my mailman at home. I was sitting at my desk doing normal daily work when the mailman came in and said, "I have a package for you. I didn't want to leave it on your porch at home because it looks like it's going to rain." YAY MAILMAN! :) So, I ripped open the package and found:
My note says:
Hello! I know you are on a journey to weight loss so I wanted to give you some snacks I enjoy. With clean eating it is important to eat every 2-3 hours and always have a protein and a carb. I sometimes will have the popcorn with almonds or the plantains with trail mix. If I want to snack at night I will have the tea. I also ♥ dark chocolate. Enjoy. ♥ Valerie
Luna Protein bar - Chocolate Peanut Butter
I immediately opened up the Luna Protein bar as I hadn't eaten breakfast yet and it sounded amazing. It was just as delicious as I imagined it would be. I mean, you can't really go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter together... in about any form. :)

Trader Joe's Roasted Plantain Chips
I have never had a plantain chip in my life. I loved that the ingredients list was so short - just three items - plantains, sunflower oil, and salt. I was curious as to whether I would like these or not so I decided to take out a serving and have a little snack. They were pretty dang good. I think they would be better if they were mixed with maybe some granola and raisins and other things, but on their own, they were still delicious. They tasted more like a potato chip than a banana chip, but they were still yummy!!!

Trader Joe's Lite Kettle Corn and Blue Diamond Whole Natural Almonds
Okay, so Valerie's tip on this was that she sometimes mixes these together for a snack. I took a serving of the almonds and poured it into the bag (a single serving) of the kettle corn to have a delicious afternoon snack. I would totally do it again... though it makes me sad that the nearest Whole Foods or Trader Joe's to me is in Indianapolis which is about three hours away. Bummer.

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic 72% Cacao Belgian Dark Chocolate Bar
This bar says it is an intense, full bodied dark chocolate made from fairly traded cocoa beans. I'm down with that. I LOVE chocolate and recently I discovered how much I actually love DARK chocolate. I had to try it so I broke off a piece and was surprised to find it delicious. At first I thought it put off an almost beer-like taste (I'm not sure why), but then I just tasted yummy dark chocolate... The second time I tried it, I didn't catch any of the beer-taste so it must have just not meshed well with whatever I ate before the chocolate. I feel like I should point out that I am from east central Illinois. We eat meat, and a lot of it, and there aren't a lot of vegetarians or vegans or even clean eaters in this area. It's really hard to find just plain organic food in these parts so I'm always surprised when I eat something organic and it's delicious... like this gigantic chocolate bar.

Trader Joe's Specialty Teas Mango Black Tea
It seems like Valerie really knows me, although I didn't really tell her any of this stuff, but I LOVE tea and I love teas with citrus flavors in them. My absolute favorite tea is green tea with honey and lemon. It's so yummy and warm on cool fall/winter days... Anyway, I decided to try a cup of this delicious tea by itself the other morning with my breakfast. It was awesome just the way that it was which is amazing... usually I have to sweeten my hot tea up with sugar. I'm glad that I have a whole box of this yummy tea to drink as the weather changes to fall and everything gets colder. Hot tea is my favorite!