Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Daily Entries

I feel like a broken record... I've said it about a dozen times in my last few entries, but I'd really like to get in the habit of writing daily. I kind of want to come up with some daily things to write if I don't have anything else to say! Here are my ideas:

Sunday: Goals & Weigh In
  1. Post weigh in results.
  2. Post one non-scale victory (NSV) from the previous week.
  3. Review previous week's goals. Did I stick with them? Did they help?
  4. Set five new goals for the coming week.
Monday: Friend Makin' Monday
Tuesday: New Recipe
  • Pick a new recipe, make it, and post it.
Wednesday: Review
  • Write a review of something: book, movie, product, etc...
Thursday: TBD
  • No idea yet...
Friday: TBD
  • No idea yet...
Saturday: Pit & Peak
  • Allie and Brin are the hosts of this link up. Basically you just write the pit (lowest point of your week) and peak (highest point of your week).
Do you have any ideas for the latter days of the week?!? I need some help!

Anyway... I'm proud of myself. I've been sitting here on the verge of a headache. At the rate it's going, it's possible it could turn into a migraine though I'm thinking it's probably sinuses. I took some Tylenol and shot some Nasonex up my nose and I'm going to the gym... Sometimes working out makes headaches go away, right???

I've been insanely busy at work and have been working on this entry for literally two days now so I'm going to leave it at this.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Crazy Shenanigans

Sometimes I forget things. I mean... we all forget things right??? I feel like a bad sister because I didn't realize until late Tuesday night that yesterday was my sister's birthday. Granted, I remembered BEFORE her birthday, but not until the night before. I usually have a much better memory than that! I put a post on Facebook yesterday morning about her birthday and shared a picture of the two of us.


Around 10 am I get a text from her asking if I'm still taking her to CG (a local coffee shop where I used to work as a barista) for her birthday. I text back and said sure. But I mean, seriously, how does she remember that sometime back in November I offered to maybe take her to CG for her birthday??? She has learning disabilities and can't remember anything, but she remembers that. LOL Anyway, I had offered to take her to lunch... We were debating between going yesterday and today... She said she wanted to go today because my mom took her out to breakfast. Then my mom got the bright idea that I could not take a lunch, leave work at 4, go to Curves and workout, go home and shower, then go pick my sister up and take her out for dinner. I asked my boss if this was okay and he said yes so we had a plan...

I didn't want to miss Curves yesterday because I didn't think I'd be able to go today... Well, by the time 4 pm rolled around for me to leave, I didn't want to go to Curves. I didn't want to go at a different time when my usual people aren't there. I know, silly reason, but that's what I was feeling. So, I text my sister when I left work to see if she wanted to go to CG then instead of around 6. She said sure so I went and picked them up. My niece was so happy to see me! Love that little girl!

We got to CG and the owner was there. She talked to us as we had both worked there before. Then we ordered. I got their special which was a cup of soup and a grilled cheese and tomato flatbread. I got loaded potato soup. Misty got a chicken ranchero wrap with honey mustard instead of ranch. Hailey got a kids grilled cheese (basically a regular grilled cheese). Misty and I both got regular sized chai teas and Hailey got a fountain soda. Our total? $26.10. I was not impressed because my food was so little by the time I went to bed I was starving again. I doubt I go back there anytime soon. We could have gotten miserably stuffed at just about any other restaurant in town.

We left quickly because Hailey was being a turd. She wasn't cranky, but she wasn't listening. She was smiling and waving at everyone, standing in the booth and jumping, and squealing and talking loud. She wasn't eating. She was bugging the ladies in the booth behind us. I was like, "Misty, hurry and eat, we'll get Hailey a to-go box cause we're leaving."

We went to the video rental place after that. Since it was Misty's birthday, she got a free rental. She got Sinister. I don't know how she liked it, but she did watch it. While we were there, I signed up for an account. I have never had my own rental account anywhere. For the first 30 days, I get unlimited half price rentals. I got The Perks of Being a Wallflower on Blu-Ray. I LOVED it! I'm totally investing in it when I have some spare money.

Anyway... I don't get my body... Last night, I ate an entire pint of soft serve twist ice cream. I didn't work out at all. When I weighed this morning, I was down almost 3 pounds for the week (I doubt it stays there). How did I lose weight when I ate like crap? I dunno.

I'm having a healthy dinner tonight and I'm excited. I'm making stir fry for the first time. I've got some chicken breasts that I'm going to cut up and sauté in some olive oil. Then I've got three bags of stir fry veggies that I'm going to steam in some chicken broth, soy sauce, minced garlic, ginger, red pepper flakes, and curry powder. I'm hoping it turns out delish!

I'm also not working out... again. I know. I'm horrible. I was on such a good streak too! My best friend is getting married in April. I promised her that whenever she was ready, I'd help her order her wedding invites. She text me earlier and asked if I was free tonight to help her get them ordered so we can fill them out and get them mailed. I said sure. We're also expecting a huge snow/ice storm. Not looking forward to that!!!

Another thing I wanted to talk about... I hate skin tags. I realize they're hereditary and since both of my parents have them, I get the joy of having them too. I also realize that obesity can aggravate the situation. So, anyway, I got my first skin tag in high school. It was on my armpit and it hurt when I shaved. It royally pissed me off one day and I tugged on it and twisted really hard. It hurt really bad. The next day, it turned black and fell off. Amazing! I have a few skin tags on the back of my neck currently.. I don't like them, but hey, my hair usually covers them so it's not that big of a deal... except for the one this one that was right along the neckline of my shirts. My shirts rubbed on it and irritated it and it started to get bigger and bigger. Last night I'd had enough of it so I tried the tugging and twist method. It didn't do anything though. It didn't get all blood red like the one under my armpit did. So then I searched online and read that if you're careful, you can just cut them off. So I did. LOL I took my little sewing scissors and washed them up. Then I got some toilet paper, a band aid, and some triple antibiotic ointment. I got in front of the mirror, pulled on the tag with one hand, and cut it with the other. It hurt, but not as bad as I was expecting. It also bled, but not as much as I thought it would. I patted it dry with the toilet paper, put some TBO on it and slapped a bandaid on there. This morning it was just a little scabby place. Yay!

Okay, I'm going to go, I think this entry is long enough. Adios!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Aches

I am so proud of myself. I've worked out two days in a row. As little as that may sound, it's big for me. Especially since my knees were achy last night and this morning. I hate having bad knees, but hopefully doing something about it (i.e. losing weight) will help out.

Last night I went to Curves. I am so excited that my workout buddy Dot is back! She's an older lady, old enough to be my mom, but I love working out with her. I don't know if I went into this at all, but when I returned to Curves, I asked Shawna (the new coach) if Dot was still working out and she said that Dot had quit. I was so sad! Dot came in when I was in one day and a couple weeks later she rejoined! I'm so psyched. We worked out and then I came home and did 15 minutes on the treadmill. I was already super warm so I took it easy again. Did 3.0 for 15 minutes... awesome. Here's my treadmill readout:


Today was sucky at work... Just long and yeah... We ordered in Mexican today. I tried to be healthy and ordered chicken fajita taco salad. It was delicious! I didn't even eat any chips really. That's awesome. After work I came home and did a mile on the treadmill. About 3/4 of the way through, I started feeling really nauseous so I slowed down a lot... I still averaged a 3.0 mph mile though. *shrugs*


I just ordered some new tops online. It's really hard for me to find nice shirts that fit me in stores around here. My aunt told me about a website for plus sized girls so I checked it out. They had a lot of shirts. I got quite a bit of stuff. I had a hard time figuring out what size to buy. I was between sizes. My bust and hips were one size and my waist was a size bigger. I thought about it and decided it would probably fit better if I got the smaller size. The waist wasn't off my much so I think (read: hope) they work out. If not, I can always return crap, right??? I also ordered some new sports bras from Lane Bryant. I love their sports bras! So... yeah. Can't wait for my new stuff to come.

Okay, my dog needs to go out, I need to take my contacts out, and then I'm going to zonk out. LOL Night y'all!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Friend Making Monday: Blogger to Blogger

image

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: http://www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Blogger to Blogger
  1. Does your blog have one overwhelming theme? Not really just one... I talk a lot about weight loss, but I changed to a not 100% weight loss blog when I realized that I don't always want to talk about losing weight. This blog is supposed to have a more well-rounded ME theme. 
  2. How did you come up with the theme(s) for your blog? Was it intentional? Yes... My first blog on here (www.MissElephantine.com) was all about weight loss. When I realized that a lot of the time I was talking about my life and not just weight loss, I decided to make a new blog so that I wasn't false advertising by saying it was a weight loss blog when it's really not. 
  3. Share something cool that has happened in your life as a result of blogging. My blog is tiny. I don't really have a lot of readers and I don't post enough for anything amazingly cool to happen, but I was contacted by a company to do a review and giveaway of some digital scrapbooking software. That was awesome! 
  4. How much time to do spend reading blogs everyday? I read a lot of blogs and I LOVE reading blogs. I probably spend a good two hours or more a day reading blogs. I'm always looking for more to read so if you have any that you love, let me know! 
  5. Do you blog on the weekends? Not really. I need to because I want to get in the habit of writing every single day, but sometimes I don't even read blogs over the weekend. 
  6. Do you keep track of your stats?  Do they matter to you? The only stats I keep track of are my number of followers and my comments. I don't get many of either, but oh well... Haha. 
  7. How do you decide how much to share about your personal life? I've been blogging for a long time... about 12 years now. Sometimes I feel like I over-share in an entry, but I do share quite a bit of personal information. *shrugs* I just share whatever I feel comfortable with sharing. 
  8. Do you aspire to be a writer, or did blogging happen for some other reason? I actually do aspire to be a writer. That's not why I keep my blog though. I keep my blog because I like to look back at what I was doing several years ago and see how I have changed. I also like meeting new people and I'm a much more outgoing person via the internet than I am in person. I've "met" a ton of cool people via blogging sites. 
  9. As a blogger, do you think it’s more important to write for yourself, or for your readers? A little of both. I mostly blog for myself... to keep myself accountable. And like I said previously, I'd like to get into the habit of writing every day, but I really don't want to become one of those bloggers that writes about nothing just to get an entry in. I'd rather blog when I actually have something to say... So if I don't write every single day, that's why... I do enjoy getting comments and having readers, but like I said before, it's not mandatory to my blogging. I will still blog whenever I feel like it! :) 
  10. What kind of plans do you have for the future of your blog? Well, in the long run, I'd like to be a popular blogger. I would like to be a blogger that a bunch of people read and get inspiration from. I guess that means I should probably get in high gear with my weight loss... if I want to inspire others. I don't know. I feel like by motivating others it will help keep me motivated as well... if that makes sense...

Friday, February 15, 2013

Grief

Our memories are reliable. A smell, sight, sound, taste, or touch can take you back to a memory… whether good or bad. A certain rubber smell takes me back to a play I did in third grade where I portrayed a little pig and wore a pig’s nose. Memories come when you least expect them to and they can take you by complete surprise.

This morning, while I was showering before work, I thought I heard my phone vibrate. I checked and it hadn’t, but I immediately flashed to the morning of October 1, 2009… My phone was vibrating non-stop while I was in the shower. I finished washing my hair, turned off the water, and answered it, still standing in the tub. It was my mother. She said, “I have some bad news and I wanted you to hear it before you got on Facebook and found out… Aunt Daphne called and Mitchel was in a very bad car accident.” I remember asking her if he’d be okay and she said, “At this point, it isn’t looking so good.” We hung up and I immediately felt like throwing up. I sat down in the shower and sobbed for a good five minutes. Then I thought I probably should finish getting ready for work so I stood up and turned the water back on to finish my shower. Numerous times, I bent over and sobbed and almost couldn’t keep myself standing. Getting ready was so hard… I kept bursting into tears. I went to work and made it through the work day, but it was so hard.

This morning, as I relived that day in my memory, I had a sudden and intense feeling of grief over the loss of my cousin. It hits me when I least expect it and it can be so debilitating. I realized a couple of times that I had tears in my eyes… Grief is strange.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

No more...

Okay, so today begins Lent. I'm not Catholic... never have been nor will I ever be (nothing against the religion in the slightest), but ever since high school (when I met one of my best friends who is Catholic), I've always given up something for Lent. Last year it was soda, and I did amazing... Since I've not had one single ounce of soda since December 31st, it's kinda silly to try that again... So then I think, "What would be most beneficial to me to give up???" And I decided that I'm going to give up my self-sabotage and my self-depreciation... I hope to gain self-confidence and willpower. I don't know what the rules are to Lent, but since I'm not Catholic I guess it doesn't really matter. LOL

I'm going to follow my heart and try my damnedest to lose this weight that I have... Not only lose weight, but become healthy mind, body, and spirit. I said in my entry yesterday that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to weight loss. I found this saying and I think it fits well...


My walls are no more... or so I hope. :D I have a new attitude when it comes to my life... One I've never had before. I'm excited to begin this awesome journey.

Last night after work, I went to Curves. I did my first Curves Smart workout in over six months. It was torture, but I made it through and felt so good once I got done. I got home and did a 15 minute treadmill workout at 3.0 mph. Not very fast, but since I was already tired, I took it easy, but did my workout anyway. I felt awesome when it was done. 


Tonight I went out to dinner with my friend Megan. I haven't seen her in a lot, long time... like two months, but that's forever for us. LOL We went out for dinner and ate Mexican. I got a chicken fajita quesadilla which really isn't too terrible for you... but then I got a cheese dip, ate some chips, and had an horchata to drink. I was about 1600 calories over my daily total... OH! Because we also had some frozen custard for dessert. ARG! I'm not giving up though and tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to go to Curves AND walk on my treadmill again. YAY!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Choices

I'm making three choices today:
  1. I will log all calories that enter my body every day
  2. I will workout at Curves at least three times a week and follow Hal Higdon's walking 5K training program for the next eight weeks.
  3. I will update my blog once a day.
I need to write more. I need to be held accountable for myself. I'm never going to lose weight and get healthy if I don't realize that I am my own worst enemy and I self-sabotage like you wouldn't believe.

My mom surprised us (coworker Traci and me) with lunch from McDonald's today. She had a coupon for a family meal. She got one Big Mac, one McChicken, a 10 piece nuggets, three small fries and three large drinks for $10. Great deal... I ended up having half of a Big Mac, four nuggets, a small fry, a container of honey mustard sauce, and a large light lemonade... Total calories??? 775. It could have been a lot worse...

I was supposed to go with my friend Pam to get my nails done tonight, but her nail lady can't do them this week. That's fine other than my nails are super long for me and I am having troubles doing basic tasks... like typing this entry.

The good news stemming from this is that I can go to the gym tonight! I had to skip yesterday because they were doing Zumba and my knees aren't strong enough for that yet... So, my plan tonight... Curves Smart workout (30 minutes) and 15 minute walk on the treadmill when I get home... I need to work up slowly to walking more. :)

Okay, I'm out of here for now. I need to start posting pics again too! Haha.

Oh! One more thing... I don't have enough blogs to read... do any of you read anyone that writes a lot and is motivating? Let me know!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Big Weekend Plans

I had plans everyday except Sunday, but those have changed. Today after work I was going to go to dinner with my friend Megan. She isn't getting out of her house much and I miss her so I thought dinner would be a good thing. She text me this afternoon and said her mom was in the hospital and she didn't know if she'd be able to make it or not... and that she'd let me know. I haven't heard from her so I'm assuming she is still with her mom at the hospital... I'm so sad about her mother. I cannot imagine being Megan. Her mom has cancer and it's not looking good. Keep them in your prayers, if that's your thing...

Today is my anniversary. My boyfriend and I have been together for NINE YEARS today. Happy, happy anniversary to us. I woke up to a bag containing Game of Thrones Season 1 on DVD:


And some yummy meltaway chocolates in dark chocolate and milk chocolate:



We're going to go out tomorrow night and watch Warm Bodies and maybe go to dinner. I'm super excited! I've wanted to see that movie since I saw the preview... It was his idea to go and see it which makes it that much better. Yay!!!

This entry is all over the place. LOL But tonight I was supposed to go to dinner with Megan. Since we're not going out to eat, I'm debating on what I want for dinner. No ideas yet. Right now I'm watching Flight with Denzel Washington while writing this. It's taking forever because I keep stopping to watch the movie. My co-worker rented it from the movie place in town and told me I could watch it as long as I returned it tonight... Not a problem! It's good so far... 

Once I finish this movie, I'm probably going to go return it and get some food. Not sure what... I thought about ordering in pizza, but that's not too healthy. Maybe I'll run through Subway and get a sub... that sounds good to me. Yum! Then I'm going to come home and watch all of the shows I have on my DVR... Why???

Because tomorrow, sometime between 8 am and 12 pm, I will be getting the new DirecTV Genie. I'm super excited! That makes me happy! This week I went through and wrote down all of the shows I watch so I can get the new DVR set up once it's installed... Since I have no idea when they're coming, I have to finish all of my shows tonight.

After they leave, I have to go to a cancer benefit with my mom... It starts at 2:30 and I hope to get home quickly so I can get ready for my date with Matt. :)

Changing subject... So, I felt like dressing up for some reason today... That happens sometimes and usually when I'm working out regularly so yay that... Anyway, I wore my jewelry. I hadn't worn it in a while. When I put on my rings this morning, they felt tight. By the time I got to work the ring on my left ring finger hurt. I tried to take it off and it wasn't moving... I licked around my finger to lubricate it and tried again and it still didn't want to budge. I just bit the bullet and pulled as hard as I could and it came off, but it bruised the area around my finger where it was. 


I'm sad that my finger is too fat for my ring. Boo... I hope that working out makes my fingers thin out soon so I can wear all of my rings again...

I can't go to Curves on Monday... I can't go because Curves Circuit with Zumba starts back up and the new instructor is said to be a lot harder than the last one. My knees were super-achy all day yesterday with just walking and do the Curves Circuit, so I think I'm going to have to wait a couple of weeks before I attempt Zumba... Since Megan couldn't go to dinner today, maybe we can go Monday...

Tuesday, I MAY be going to get my nails done after work... My best friend got me a certificate to her nail lady for Christmas. I usually wear my nails short because I don't like them long, but I grew them out so that her lady can give me a manicure... They're bugging me... Pam said she'd call and schedule an appointment on Tuesday when I get off work which sounds good.

Luckily, I have a treadmill now and can walk when I need to! I'm not going to walk tonight because I have SIX shows to watch before I go to bed. Crazy! I better go and pay attention to this movie. Adios!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Long Entry with Pics and Videos

I've been meaning to write an entry for days, but just haven't had the time... I've been ridiculously busy after work. I don't like it! Work has also been busy so I haven't had the opportunity to write much there either...

Monday I got my tax return back. I didn't do a lot though... I ordered my treadmill and reserved my hotel room for Chicago. I went to Curves that night, but that's about it. Boring...

Tuesday on my lunch, my dad met me at Walmart to pick up my treadmill. We got it back to my house and then it was rather funny that my dad and I carried it in my house by ourselves! LOL When we got it in, he left. I checked my mail and I had gotten a CD I had ordered a week or so ago. YAY! I love the Brian Buckley Band... I popped that in my CD player in my car and ran through the car wash because my car was covered with road salt. I went back to work. After work, my friend Pam came over to help me put together my treadmill. She brought her dog (Harley) with her. My cat (Lucky) is used to my dog (Rusty), but hasn't met many other dogs. She FREAKED when Harley got here. She ran into our back room which is a back porch/laundry area. It's unfinished currently. When we got back there, this is what we saw:


She had scaled the wall and was stuck to it! Once she got up there, she couldn't figure out how to get down. It was funny, but not at the same time because she was crying and scared. She got too high and we couldn't reach her to help her down. My friend took this video (DISCLAIMER: She is crying rather loudly in this video):

video

Once she jumped to the clothes, we were able to get her down, but she was so scared for a couple of hours after that. Poor traumatized kitty!!!

Pam and I ate dinner after that and our dogs played:




video

They got along great! It made me happy. Harley (gray and white dog) was getting frustrated with Rusty (brown and white dog) because Rusty is so full of energy. LOL Harley's actually about a year younger than Rusty.

Pam and I put together the treadmill. Considering I've never built one and I didn't know what to expect, it wasn't too bad. We had a couple of mishaps, but it only took us about an hour and a half to put together. Here's the finished treadmill:


It looks great! I love it! Haha... Anyway, Pam left shortly after we finished putting it together... oh, only after she ran for a full minute at 10 mph. CRAZY GIRL! I made her laugh and she about fell. Haha... I went to bed shortly after she left because I was exhausted. I went into my room to see this:


He was passed out until I turned on the light... Haha. Tired boy!!!

Yesterday I got off work and went to Curves. I did my Curves Smart training... meaning setting up the computer to be my personal trainer. So exciting!!! When I got home, I did 15 minutes on the treadmill. My goal is to follow Hal Higdon's 5K Walking plan. The first day you're supposed to do 15 minutes. I was hot and tired and I'm out of shape, so I just did 15 minutes at 2.8 which is super slow. I hadn't walked in almost six months and even 2.8 seemed fast for some reason.


The time says 15:00, I'm not sure why it's not showing up in the picture, but I'm okay with that! LOL

Today I had every intention of going to Curves, but decided to put it off... this means I won't be able to go until Monday, but I'll be okay since I have my treadmill... I scheduled to have a DVR upgrade. We're going to get the Genie on Saturday. Those of you who've read me for a while know that I watch a lot of TV. It's my vice... I could be doing worse things like drugs or alcohol... Haha... I have a ton of television to watch before they get here Sunday morning to replace my DVR. Exciting!

Oh, and of course, since I washed my car on Tuesday, I walked out of work to this:


Of course... LOL We don't really need rain right now... Where was this rain when we were in a severe drought this summer??? Haha...

Okay, this is long and rambling enough. I'm going to go. Adios!

Friday, February 1, 2013

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby...

HAPPY ONE HUNDREDTH ENTRY TO ME!!!

Genie
Those of you who know me well know that television is my biggest vice. I enjoy watching TV and I watch a lot of it. We have DirecTV. I pay the bill. Our bill is right at $100 currently. The other day Matt and I were talking and he asked what it would take to get a Genie for our house. If you haven’t seen the commercials, a Genie is a special box that DirecTV has that lets you record or watch up to five shows at a time, you can schedule up to 100 series to record, and it has 1 terabyte of memory so it keeps a ton of shows! I emailed DirecTV and they said that I’m up for an equipment upgrade. I would have to pay for installation, but I would get the Genie box and another box so I can watch TV in my bedroom. My bill would stay the same every month, I’d just have to pay $148 for installation. I asked Matt if he’d pay for it and he said no. I’m contemplating doing it when I get my income tax return back. The only reason I’m considering it is because if I got the Genie, I could cancel my Hulu which is $7.99 a month. I wouldn’t need it… Decisions, decisions…

Treadmill
I checked the status of my income taxes yesterday. I was very surprised when it said: Your tax refund is scheduled to be sent to your bank on February 4, 2013. That’s Monday!!! I text my friend Pam who said she could come over after work on Tuesday and help me set up my treadmill. I text my dad who said that he would help me get it home from Walmart on Tuesday afternoon. SAH-weet!!! I’m so excited. LOL

Diet
My diet has gone to hell in a hand basket this week. I had pizza on Monday… We had our food day on Tuesday which I totally overate during. I had leftovers from our food day on Wednesday. Yesterday I had lasagna for lunch… and today I ate an entire foot long sub from Subway. Help! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t stop eating unhealthy stuff! It’s ridiculous. I’m probably going to gain weight this week even though I’ve been to Curves so much. Sucks!

The Truth
A friend of mine from my church posted on Facebook within the last few days that her grandmother passed away. Of course I’m sorry for her loss… losing your grandmother is a sad thing. Her grandmother was a great lady. My first reaction was of course sympathy for her… This morning I woke up slightly angry (not at my friend) and jealous (of my friend)… not that she lost her grandmother, but because she got to be around her grandmother for so long. She got her grandmother for 25-26 years… mine passed away when I was 9. I only got 9 years with my grandma. That’s not long at all. I feel bad that I feel angry and jealous while my friend is grieving her loss, but I can’t help it. I am sad for my friend, don’t get me wrong, but why did she get her grandmother for that long while mine was ripped away at such a young age? I wonder how things would be different if my grandmother were still around. I may have been only 9 and it may be almost 19 years since she passed, but I still miss her a lot.