Telling ED No! - Reflections #5

I'm reading a self-help book called "Telling ED No!". It's basically a book that helps you work through your thoughts as to why you have disordered eating. I definitely do. At the end of each chapter, there are reflection questions which help you overcome your eating disorder. I am going to post those here.

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Have you ever thought about entering treatment? What's stopping you? Write down some ideas about what may be holding you back from accepting professional help. Is Ed telling you not to go? Don't believe him! Push the fear and Ed aside and write down what you would hope to get out of treatment.

I felt rushed through my last exercises. I'm going to try to be more elaborate on this one...

I have never thought about entering a treatment facility for my eating disorder. I have, however, thought about seeking professional help in the form of a counselor or therapist or psychologist. The reason why I haven't gotten any professional help as of yet is because I am from a smaller town and we don't really have much in the form of help. The nearest Overeaters Anonymous meeting is more than 30 miles away.  My insurance isn't good for one thing and for another, I haven't been able to locate anyone in my area that takes my insurance to begin with. Even if I did, my appointments would still be at least $35 each. Since I'm from a small town, we also don't have any free clinics where you can get free counseling or support. So, money and places to go are pretty much the main two reasons why I don't seek professional help.

Ed's only input in this whole shebang is that he doesn't think I'm sick enough to need it. But I'm 27 and have been on blood pressure medication for 2.5 years and I'm 75-80 pounds overweight. I'm thinking if I don't get on this soon I'm going to be as big as a blimp.

I would hope to get the strength and willpower to overcome Ed when he tells me I need to binge. I also have a few other mental issues that I would like to discuss. I believe that they are the reasons why I am the way I am with food and being in control of myself at all times. I think it would be nice if I were just a well-rounded (not round) individual.